ina's question (14)

My dad asked me what I was doing so I said I watch a lesbian show (23.5 series) and then he said he always wanted to do things with two lesbians
I told him he doesn't know what is a lesbian, and he replied they can go with men, it's just they never tried with a man He disgusts me
By the way, when I vented in a LGBT Discord server a straight man told me "That's too personal fr to tell here gosh" He's so insensitive
So I'm here sharing with my girls

I had psychosis and delusions for several months and thought a Japanese boys band was bullying me and then I saw something looking like sexual assault (like one of them touched the butt of a woman and she looked like she was about to cry) so I was really angry and wrote a comment on the first site talking about them I found that the man did sexual assault, I asked what kind of bitch do you think you messing with trying to bully me, I said to people to bully the man that did sexual assault and that someone should put a finger in his asshole and make it painful so he would understand sexual assaulted people pain
Now that I think straight again I wonder, is it considered like a threat?
Can I go to jail to have said that? x)
Even if usually people would go to jail, because I have mental health issues am I exempt to go to jail?
Give me honest answers please

What do you do when you did or said something and then you feel second-hand embarassment?
How do you make that feeling of shame go?
Same question when you feel guilt, how do you make that feeling go away?

I'm looking for a completed horror manga
Can you recommend me some nice ones?

Tell me something you tried/did that brought you good emotions

Mine is that I went to meditate in a Buddhist center yesterday and the benevolent vibe made me calm, serene and at my place

Recently, I think about the fact that I want a girlfriend (I'm a wlw) but at the same time I'm like I have mental health issues like anxiety about wind making me scared to go outside, I have psychosis and I feel empty sometimes
So even if I find someone and it's rather smooth, it'll be difficult to go on dates because I'll be scared to go outside and because of my mental health issues I could be a burden for my lover, complaining about stuffs
And also I want to move out in another country, like Thailand or Spain so I need to find someone that want that too
So I don't know, maybe I should wait, but at the same time my mental health issues are not gonna stop soon
What do you think?

I know that I'm a woman loving women because I fell in love with a friend of mine, but I'm confused if I love men or not
How can I figure out? Should I try having sex with a man?

After saying something looking like a threat during psychosis, I asked to the immigration if I'm banned to enter the territory but they couldn't answer me so I guess I'll just go to know
What do you think?

Just getting out of my chest that
I'm a human being
I sometimes scream at people and say bad things when angry
I have a lot of anxiety, feel empty sometimes and I can be overwelmed
I can break down and cry until satisfied
During my bad moments I could be a bitch because a little thing you did or said I couldn't handle that
I can sometimes look like a horrible person in my worst times
But it doesn't mean because I sometimes do wrong things I don't deserve happiness and that my good points don't count
I'm really benevolent, is rarely angry or throw a tanthrum to someone
I'm kind, open-minded, always there to listen others when they need
A lot of people told me I make them smile or happy
So no matter what, even if some people would see me as the worst person in Earth I know my value and I will not let that define me
I will not let people guilt me all my life because I did one or two wrong things
If you judge me for only one thing I did and don't see the whole picture, it's your issue not mine
I know I'm not perfect, I aknowledge my wrong doings but what can I do once I apologized? Nothing
So I'm gonna live my life and don't care about other opinions

(If you want to share something about you, empowering or else, feel free to do)

I wonder do you have a mental illness If yes, what is it?
It can be something diagnosied or that you suspect
For my part, I have psychosis(maybe I have schizophrenia), I'm anxious and sometimes I feel empty, unmotivated so I wonder if I could be depressive too or if it's just symptoms of schizophrenia(no motivation is one of the symptoms)

My dad said "Are you pregnant?" to me because I have a bit of belly fat, it made me so angry I screamed "Do you want me to punch you, fucking idiot?"
My dad is always mean to me and then say "Just kidding" when I'm angry
Of course not he's not joking, he just never take responsibility for his words, this fucking lesbophobic sexist

On a forum, we have a discussion where we read a new book that we review each month
This month the read is about a book that is in our want to read list for a while
So I took 3 random yuri in my list and I would like you to help me what to read
Here are the titles:

Kuchibiru Tameiki Sakurairo

X-day (by the way is it complete on mangago?)

Linkage

I have started to watch the anime Bloom into you and Koito is so relatable, I love romance genre and I daydream to live a beautiful romance while it doesn't happen to me too
I never dated anyone, the only person I loved it was one-sided and she just broke my heart, I could never experience butterflies
So I watch this anime while understanding Koito feelings and thoughts
Anyone that feels the same or get me and Koito?

I was looking for some nice funky songs, and then while listening Funky town I read lots of comments about a gore vid, went to look for it, saw the blurr version and heard the audio
So many people warning to not look at it even though you love edgy things I'm hella scared to look at the original video but at the same time I'm so curious I want to see it
Am I gonna be traumatized for dear life if I look at it, knowing I laugh like a psycho in front of bloody scenes in horror movies?