Kyaah's question page 1 (104)

just go release ur anger out. mine is "I wish you'd stop acting so nice to others infront of me and drop that act of you giving advices cus ik for a fact if they did it to you like few times they want to rely on you, you call them toxic. i wish others would see ur doing to just make them like you."

I'll probably extinct humans

This happened long time ago, actually it's been a year practically already now. I was upset at them for talking on how I should leave the relationship and not to hear my lover out when it just personally goes against my moral codes and I really still loved this person. It was a shock to me when they did smth. I get where they're coming from, a place of concern but it's just I hated it, the thought of leaving this person because it's not that im delusional.

It's that I know this person didn't mean it considering he himself was an advocate for stuff like this. No he didn't r-word me, nor that he has done this in the past... It was a first. It felt cruel to me to like treat someone like that. He's a person too and if anything I know he was afraid to make wrongs towards me. I tried to keep defending him like this but they kept booing me... I didnt rlly like that.

Even after this incident after months, he's honestly proven himself to me and just well grown from it but still constantly say sorry for that time but idk they were still on abt it. Saying he'll do it again and yadah yadah but i was upset cus we're trying to move on from that and grow from it. But... They were just concerned right?

Honestly making this post cus my friends are having a hard time believing I'm yk but I told them my name was unisex for a reason cus im intersex. They asked me a bunch of questions by asking what bathroom do I go to, how's puberty like for me, what do i Identify as and sometimes way too much personal questions such as what's down there or what's sex like.

I'm kinda curious on what ppl questions could be? I'm willing to answer them and educate ppl on this ^_^

When the ppl who I stopped being friends with even blocks me on this alt acc I SWORE they don't know cus I didn't even interact with them and mainly used this for venting only. Did they see my posts and read them and "oh this is [my name]" which is crazy. I deleted my main acc to show that I'm not on mggo anymore but damn I only used this recently to fight ppl + vent. How tf did they know it was me?? Also ouch cus I actually still feel bad for everything and I just want all of us to be comfy with each other and not avoiding like this cus it seems to me the fight is never over. Im scared they doxx me cus they hate me and wishes that I'm dead cus im venting about this stuff

Lately I've been randomly disassociating with life like honestly today I was just in my classroom staring into the whiteboard for 3 hours and it scared my professor cus of the fact I didn't move once and asked if I was okay. I told her yes but she was still mildly concerned and asked if it was bec of my "thing" I told her I'm okay with this but I told my bf abt this and he jokingly said "uh yeah you've been really emo lately." I asked him how and it's bec there will be just times I'll zone out and my face looks like it's traumatised. It worried him a little bit he says but he reads my daily journals so he thinks I'm just slowly coping with things.

I just wanted to ask if simply disassociating like that is emo bec I just don't understand why ppl ask if I'm okay im just thinking abt things very deeply. Is this such a bad thing? I thought most ppl zone out

Because ppl keep talking abt halloween and like I know some ppl here are literally 18+ but yet they still go costumes?? I thought u only do that if ur invited to a Halloween party or going trick or treating or seriously going somewhere outside ur house?? I thought there was an age limit for this?? Cus damn at 18 still??

So how do u manage to have time to even be active in forums?? Because I mean I do too but it's still chill for me cus it's only started recently but either how??? I'm curious like I know you guys have a life but I see ppl here interacting in forums everyday without fail.

If u don't know it's a guy from one direction and one direction was basically the "bts" of most teens back then. That's sad tho and he died from falling off the balcony.

I like my life alot but i think I'm genuinely happier if I go to that other side. I'll be peaceful. I think it's great for people around me plus they wanted it so... Maybe I could do something for them too. I genuinely feel that if I died I'll be happy.

I suddenly open up the things I went through that made me act in such ways? Like for example something bothered me and out of frustration I took it out on someone else without realising? Cause I just wanna say I don't mean to hurt them or smth it's just certain things are preventing me to think rationally cause its so overwhelming. I do take therapy but my therapist told me to figure out myself and ask people's thoughts.

Would you do it for whatever? Money, fame, the risk of you dying or for payback? Cus I thought about this alot of MC goes through that and it must be hella hard for them.

Sigh I don't want to think about my ex-friends anymore. I have to suck It up seeing them 24/7 and not being able to interact anymore. I seriously just want to stop reminiscing about the past and also let go of these grudges... Its in the past let's leave it there. I can't focus on my irl lately and I'm way too addicted online cus of them. Way too addicted that I know who their new friends are so I even immediately avoid those ppl cus I'm that much of a stalker and obsessed. I need to stop this. I just want to interact with people normally. Honestly this obsession would end if they could just be normal around me. I would stop caring so much abt what they do and assume bad things abt them.

I think 1990s had it good asf. If you ask me where we didn't have a global warming it would be those 15th century times I forgot what u call that era but the ones with princess gown and shit with those ridiculous ass hair.

Your red flags in terms of romantic relationships, I'll go first. Mine is being a compulsive liar but I'm managing it and is telling the truth more often cus I'm on thin ice right now with my bf I mainly lied alot due to fear of abandonment or trust issues and that created alot of problems and distrust on me. I always have this paranoia that people will kind of deep dive everything personal abt me like my exes if they get mad at me. They were pretty stalkerish and I think i could say the same for my ex-friends since they tried to doxx me.