about be a dumb bitch
I told my mom I got pregnant. She actually flipped out until she realized I was a guy.
about be a dumb bitch
about be a dumb bitch
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until two are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the two last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here's the twist: None of them are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
(Straight men behaving like gays on TV)
Make yours!
Now here's the twist: None of them are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
(Straight men behaving like gays on TV)
Make yours!
about be a dumb bitch
A friend of a friend said a girl at her school masturbated using a peeled banana and had to scoop it out using a tablespoon.
about be a dumb bitch
about be a dumb bitch
about be a dumb bitch
Straight boys: Why are all the hot girls lesbian?
Lesbians: Why are all the hot girls straight?
Straight girls: Why are all the hot guys gay?
Gay guys: Why are all the hot guys straight?
Bisexual people: WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE TAKEN?
Pansexual people: Everyone is hot what do I do?
Asexual people: what
Lesbians: Why are all the hot girls straight?
Straight girls: Why are all the hot guys gay?
Gay guys: Why are all the hot guys straight?
Bisexual people: WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE TAKEN?
Pansexual people: Everyone is hot what do I do?
Asexual people: what
about be a dumb bitch
A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.
"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.
"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender.
So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes lit up.
"Hey, this apple tastes like rum! What did you soak it in?"
The bartender tells him, "Turn it around."
So the guy does, takes another bite, and is suddenly quite pleased.
"It tastes like a coke! It's a rum and coke apple! That's pretty neat, pal."
Another man approaches the bar, and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic."
The bartender hands him an apple.
Confused, the man beings to question the validity of the bartender, when the first guy reassures him, "Buddy, try the apple," and with a nod of his own, takes another bite.
The second man follows suit, and looks back at the bartender in exclamation, "Tonic! What's this, a tonic apple?"
The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells the man, "Turn it around..."
The man has a bite from the other side of the apple and is exuberant. "It's gin! It's really gin! A gin and tonic apple!"
The two men revelled in this discovery for a while, when a dwarf walked up to the bar, made his way onto a stool beside the men, and beconed for the bartender.
As he's about to order, the second man interrupts him, "Oh, hey man wait! You should order an apple! You can get an apple that tastes like anything you want here! I've got a gin and tonic apple, and this guy's got a rum and coke apple!"
The dwarf casts a incredulous look at the bartender, who plainly nods back in confirmation.
"Oh yeah?" He starts, "OK then, it's been a while, gimme the sweet taste of a woman flavored apple!"
And the bartender hands him an apple.
The dwarf takes a big, expectant bite from the apple, and immediately spits it out all over the bar.
"Ughyuuk!!" He cries out, "This apple tastes like shit!"
The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells him,....
"Turn it around...."
"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.
"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender.
So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes lit up.
"Hey, this apple tastes like rum! What did you soak it in?"
The bartender tells him, "Turn it around."
So the guy does, takes another bite, and is suddenly quite pleased.
"It tastes like a coke! It's a rum and coke apple! That's pretty neat, pal."
Another man approaches the bar, and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic."
The bartender hands him an apple.
Confused, the man beings to question the validity of the bartender, when the first guy reassures him, "Buddy, try the apple," and with a nod of his own, takes another bite.
The second man follows suit, and looks back at the bartender in exclamation, "Tonic! What's this, a tonic apple?"
The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells the man, "Turn it around..."
The man has a bite from the other side of the apple and is exuberant. "It's gin! It's really gin! A gin and tonic apple!"
The two men revelled in this discovery for a while, when a dwarf walked up to the bar, made his way onto a stool beside the men, and beconed for the bartender.
As he's about to order, the second man interrupts him, "Oh, hey man wait! You should order an apple! You can get an apple that tastes like anything you want here! I've got a gin and tonic apple, and this guy's got a rum and coke apple!"
The dwarf casts a incredulous look at the bartender, who plainly nods back in confirmation.
"Oh yeah?" He starts, "OK then, it's been a while, gimme the sweet taste of a woman flavored apple!"
And the bartender hands him an apple.
The dwarf takes a big, expectant bite from the apple, and immediately spits it out all over the bar.
"Ughyuuk!!" He cries out, "This apple tastes like shit!"
The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells him,....
"Turn it around...."
about be a dumb bitch
about be a dumb bitch
about be a dumb bitch
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he's going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school. "
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No".
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Nevermind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says, "No".
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Ok, tell me what you think?"
He says, "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
In the morning, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he's going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school. "
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No".
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Nevermind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says, "No".
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Ok, tell me what you think?"
He says, "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
about be a dumb bitch
I was masturbating under my sheets once and my cat was in the room, I was watching porn not paying attention and next thing I feel is claws being dug into my dick, she thought I was playing a game because the sheet kept bouncing, couldn’t masturbate for a week.
about be a dumb bitch
We're all born with scars. From the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, and we all share the same mark.
Bellybuttons.
Bellybuttons.