Yes... TW

I would like search up for the painless death which was a chemical to overdose, I sometimes even just didnt care and wished a care would hit me or just something would go wrong and I would just die. I was planning on doing this on my 15 birthday because I was just so tired of going through life. But in childhood day I would scratch on my arm where they usually got your blood, I did this until it got red and sometimes did start to appear as reddening dots like a rash in slightly bleeding. When I was a child I did feel like dying just to escape but growing older it became me wanting it more and more to end. Now it's not as much but crosses my mind at times.