I need advice!
Hi guys! I'm 27 y/o single female currently living with my mother. All my other siblings are either married or live abroad.
My problem is I want my own space. Our house has three rooms, one is rented to my mom's acquaintance, one is the room I shared with my mother and the last one was clothes and miscellaneous space/storage.
I just don't understand why my mother would rent the other room to someone else when she can just let me use it. I asked her, and she said she hates when I locked myself in a room.
That's just one issues. I can still tolerate that.
The thing is since I'm single (and maybe young to my family) they keep wanting to arrange my life and change my behaviour and do things according to their wishes.
I'm sick of that.
Everytime I do things how I like, it could be anything, they will question and provoke me. I'm lazy (they said and I agree ) and basically don't do anything around the house unless I want it. I go to work 9-6 and I got so tired so on weekends I don't even go out and just sleep it off. My mother, she always compared me to someone else's daughter. Not good enough, so lazy, not pretty, everything gets compared. Not that I care, I mean, I lived my teenage years trying to be that filial daughter but I get so heartbroken when she doesn't recognise my efforts.
So I'm done with that. I know I'm not a good daughter to her. But at this point, I hate how she expect me to just be obedient like a dog.
I'm tired of this. I want to be left alone.
Everytime we have a fight, my mother will curse at me and chased me out of the house. I'm so fed up with this but I can't even cry.
So last week when we fought again, I decided I want to move away from her. I'm currently looking for a room to rent.
I know my family, they will try to guilt trip me, saying things like I'm arrogant, unfilial, stubborn and stuff.
All this while I lived my whole life hating myself, because from I was young they have always said that not only I'm ugly but I'm also have unlikeable personality. Who will ever like me?
It took me many years to be strong from that kind of toxic manipulation. In my religion and culture, single kids should care of their parents, this is the time we should repay them. But I'm not happy, I want to get away from them. Can I? How I do be strong and not fall in the same cycle again?