idk if this can be considered as one

i kinda did. I mean, i often bring sharp blades, rusty or nah inside our restroom and did 'the did' before showering. i dont have any thoughts doing it but the tiredness maybe? I can't bring my self to scar a little more deeper cause ofc im scared to d*e and cry myself dry though half of me shouts in pure tiredness. i stopped a year ago, like... finally. im still emotionally exhausted but i rn i couldn't bring my self to cry, fucking messed up ik... maybe that's why i am a whole as clown in this website ⊂(◉‿◉)つ