i am weird

I lost all of my friends.I hate myself.I'm looking for reasons to cry and to feel pain.I have the impression that all the people around me hate me. I'm not really good at communication and I always end up being weird.I try to be someone else in front of others because my true nature is depressed and anxious.I try to be a better person for someone and show them that I will always be with them but that person does not realize it. T_T