am I in love or obsessed with our story??

so, my next door neighbor from when I was younger was my best friend. our families were also close. I didn't;t know if I liked him then bc I was like 7 but our older brother always embarrassed us by saying we liked each other. ofc I always refused bc I was embarrassed. I think he liked me bc he tried to hold my hand once, when we were walking nome from school. I slapped his hand away and awkwardly walked away. then he got someone to tell me he didn't like me (childish ik, but we WERE 7) . I honestly didn't care but he started to avoid me so I thought our friendship was over forever, especially after he and I both moved away. I thought I would n't see him again but we ended up going the same middle school. and I avoid him at all cost but want to know everything about him. he tried talking to me n stuff but I basically ignored him. I think he thinks I hate him or something. but really I think about him a lot and am embarrassed. I hate it. I just want to forget him but I can't. I really don't think I love him or anything, maybe crush (he is fine) but I can't help think how our story is sooo much like something I would read online, like wattpad. maybe I do like him and denying it but I seriously think I may just be obsessed with out story. if we did end up together that would be romantic. then again I don't think I really like him. but I do think about his a lot. idk what is this. I don't understand my own feelings. we have been classmates for couple of years and didn't talk, though I think we are both aware of each other, until I started going o online school. should I just slide into his dms??????????????/ idk I might love him. and I am a teenage with hormones so idk.