Never fell in love
I’m 18 right now, and I’ve never fallen in love with anyone. I’m just really paranoid. The idea of the whole idea of “love” scares me. Falling in love with someone makes me think of all the negative consequences. Like they don’t reciprocate your feelings. But if if they do, then you’re stuck in this vortex where you think of nothing but them, and you’re basically “whipped” and have no control over yourself. Or that you lose your feelings for them over time and end up breaking up, the heartache of that will probably be too much for me to bear. I don’t see the point of going through that suffering. I’ve seen it happen to many people around me everywhere, and I don’t want to experience it. But at the same time, I do. But if I do, I am scared of having to dedicate half my time just for them, when I barely have enough time for myself. I’m always thinking about my future, and ideally, I would want to start a family with someone. But I’m scared that the person I love will change after marriage, because you know how sometimes that happens to unfortunate people. You think that that person is the right one for you; but when you are officially and fully theirs, they will treat you badly and that’s why domestic abuse exists. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t know.
Tl;dr: Love is scary and complicated.
Messages
Please don't take this personally but you are a male aren't you?
The idea of love is scary but what I find is that it provides an opportunity for growth that does not come from being alone. The relationship may end, but you usually come out of it a better person than before.
I find that the idea that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all is true. The hard part is letting yourself love. Dont be afraid because whatever happens, you usually end up a better person than before. And you know yourself better. Also, when the next relationship comes, you have a better idea of the type of person you wanna be awith. I hope this helps.