lovebombing?

to be honest idk if were still friends but they stressed me out like crazy.

in the beginning of our friendship, which started literally at the end of december, they lovebombed me like crazy (ik thats weird cus were friends but) theyd be super complimentive and supportive and even started dropping stuff like “OMG AHH I LOVE U SM” mind you their older than me, so idk maybe thought this was just sisterly affection? and maybe they were just being nice since they met me through my art.

anyways i have pretty sever social anxiety and bad avoidance tendancies, and since a lot of my social anxiety revolves around my friends, i started avoiding her because i felt like i couldnt really open up this issue since its something, i, myself have never even opened up about to any of friends. i knew she was a good person, so after a few days of cutting her off, i came back messaging ‘im sorry for what i did, you dont have to be friends if you dont want to but you deserve an apology atleast.’

she replied saying she wanted to know the reason and still wanted to be friends, she said a lot of stuff like “its okay you can rely on me!” “ you are still so dear to me, so depend on me” i mean after reading this, i let my social anxiety go for a bit because i was like, maybe i can trust this person!

anyways, we started messaging a bit like normal after a few days and i opened up about something super vulnerable, about how my social life makes me feel unlovable blah blah, and i got the dryest response ever. “ yeah life gets like that” i was so confused because shes usually supportive and nice but i brushed it off thinking she still might be mad at me(i stopped venting to her atp). a couple a days go by, she doesnt text unless i do and im like hm, i ask her if shes mad and she said “i just dont know what to say haha, but im sure if you keep talking itll warm up things”, and i was so dishearted to hear that because we usually were able to talk abt anything and she stopped being supportive. i started blaming myself for what was happening and started putting a lot of effort into talking, because maybe i needed to give back, but nothing changed, i thought maybe something was happening, that it wasnt me so i asked, “hey is everything okay?” “hope all is well!” and id always get the same response of “all good!” but still dry replies, never a conversation.

this confused me so badly, i mean if she was busy and going through something i wouldve understood, shes telling me to depend on her but now started treating me differently. this freaked me out badly bc idk, its like my overthinking and my social anxiety was right, she couldnt understand my issues and was mad, but if that was the truth i wouldnt complied right away and stopped venting(i mean i did anyways) idk i felt like walking on eggshells

this started making me so anxious so i finally confronted her about it and how this how what she was saying made me feel, like if your mad or tired and dont want to be friends anymore JUST SAY IT instead of stringing me along. and then she said that she was going through something and i was just like, bro. i dont mind if you dont want to open up about it, but saying your busy gives me insight instead of “all good!” every single time.

i started feel guilty again because i made it about me when she was actually going through something, but i wished she wouldve just said that or taken some time for herself but the way she acted strange towards me confused me SO much. saying stuff like “rely on me” then to act dry, times get tough for everyone so i understand that you cant always support me, but say that you cant then instead of saying you can. idk i feel frustrated because i feel lied too, like if you need space ill give you it, but i have no idea what to do if you dont say anything, dont set a boundary, idk. i feel like i was reeled in and then pushed away.

sorry for the mindless rant, anyways always communicate ur boundaries and true feelings, even if its vague or a hint, even not replying is a reply