Any tips?

I'm always jealous of the people who have a build I wish I had, I ate a lot but I have a fast metabolism which doesn't help me at all. I have a thin hand, my stomach and waist is just so slim, I hate it. I started hating it when I had dysphoria, not just the body but also my gender. I want to be a man, wear clothes for boys, I want to have a short hair that looks cool on me, I want to socialize like the boys in my class, have their build, I want to be called a He, not she. I don't want to wear skirts, dresses, top crops, short-shorts, sleeveless shirt. I told them I have nothing to be insecured, but my head tells me I hate my slim body everytime I look at my reflection, I hate my teeth, my eyebags, the mole on my face, the scars I have on my leg, my sensitive skin. I'm weak and I hate it. I want to come out so bad, tell them I like being called a boy, the joy I had when someone said I looked like a guy one time, shit that made me happy like I used to when I was young. Can someone give me a tip about what to do as a closeted trans man? Pls? Sorry if I I vented, I just want some tip, I'd like to take it slow since I'm a broke asshole. Got no money rn since I'm still in school. Should I start by cutting my hair shorter like a guys? Or is there any hairstyle that can help me look like a guy?