so i have been dating my bf for 6 years now and we wanna get married. my parents are happy and support our decision whereas his family will only allow it if i give up my identity i.e change my name to match their ethnicity, shift to their locality and totally integrate into their culture. no compromises. since this is a long standing tradition my bf is in favor of it but i am hesitant to do so bc i take great pride in the name my parents have given me, my culture and identity as a whole. what do you guys think i should do? would it really be worth it to give up my own sense of self for the sake of love?
If you gave up YOUR culture and identity, would you still best "you"? You still won't fit in and will start feeling trapped in marriage. Ultimately, your love would turn into resentment. So It’s won't be worth it. Please talk it out with your bf. If he truly loves you, he will understand and respect your decision and self identity. reply
girl, nothing is worth lising yourself, your identity. Stand your ground, if they do not respect your choice then fuck them. They weren’t worth it then. If he loved you fr he shouldnt be in davor for you to change your identity tf. Good luck sis reply
no, dont do it, you will regret it later on, I know people who changed religions and traditions for their lovers but they regretted it, so its not worth it, love can come and go, its not lasting, especially if you are in your 20s. reply
a lot of people put these burden on a woman as its in her nature to adapt out of "love for others", you may feel now this is the right thing to do as you love your boyfriend and may give into the pressure..but i want you to picture your life after 10,20 years, giving up your identity will take a toll and destroy you slowly from the inside.
best wis...... reply
holyyyyyy shit hon this is really risky this could end very terribly if things dont end up well and the idea of dissolving yourself into his whole culture is crazy what happened to your own identity and the fact hes so onboard with it?? thats a redflag itself, idk how to tell you this but this is probably going to end up very badly unless you work ...... 1 reply
