Vent (TW) Sa and abusive relationship i would soon get into.

I don't know where else to talk about this but since this site hates rap1st and have always talk abt the issues in forums. i need to vent.

I have a boyfriend, he and i had been together for 3 years. He is very sweet and kind to me before, he even said to me that he will protect me from ppl who wants to sexually harass me and he did so. I was sexually harassed before by a guy when i was taking over for my hyung's job cus he had to go somewhere and wanted me to take care of his cafe in the meantime. While taking his shift, i encountered a weird customer who was inappropriate to me... i was 15 that time. I chose to ignore it because he would go away anyways but until my shift ended he didn't leave. When i was in the changing room, no one had noticed he followed me and then he barged in there and did stuff to me for a few minutes until one of my co-workers noticed. I cried so much that day and couldn't even think but i just ran away. My bf found out the news because he saw i vented about it towards my friends and they talked to him about it. Nobody had found me for 6 hours until he did. I broke down crying to him thinking i had just cheated.

My friends and bf were trying their best to comfort but his touch couldn't just leave on me. i was so disgusted of myself and then one day i didnt want it anymore so i tried to attempt. i was in a coma for 13 days. Which i think after that my bf had changed, i don't know what changed him but he changed after this incident. He was more obsessive and possesive of me. Getting upset at every men who encounters me and i didn't find it too problematic until he had started to hurt me because "i was talking with other men who will just rape me" i didn't know what to think i mean he just wanted to protect me right? he was just concerned right? for a whole more year i endured this not being able to talk or be friends with other men. Even online didn't work on him, he had doxxed the guy i was friends with from a game and said "he's a creep." at this point i was scared of my own bf but i couldn't leave because "he only do this because he loves me." then just as times goes on more we got older, im now 17.

Things between me and him have become sexual. He wanted to always check if "hadnt given myself towards someone" down there. One time just cus a guy was abit physical contact with me which was my hyung who only hugged me. He forced me to do it with him. I felt like i couldn't leave the relationship and still to this day im still with him unable to leave because i dont want to get hurt. I tried reporting one time but he somehow convinced the police that it wasnt true. I do not know what to do.

So honestly if things doesnt go well for me, i would like to leave a mark of what happened to me