I need advice
What am I supposed to do about this? I'm pretty sure, no I'm positive that everyone hates me. And if they dont hate me, they sure dont like me. This isnt some delusion, its been this way my entire life. From elementary school and even now in college, I'm always alone. Nobody has ever gone out of their way to talk to me, to spend time with me unless I go out of my way to talk to them. When I was by myself with no intention of talking to others, I was alone. I'm a very nosy person and I hate to admit I have a habit of bringing myself into conversations that people have. Thats probably because nobody will talk to me otherwise. They'll often make it obvious that I'm interrupting, and sometimes tell me to shut up. Even when they arent annoyed with me, after a short while it feels like I'm interrupting and I just leave them alone. People around me talk about their friend groups, best friends and lovers/crushes, and I dont even have friends. The few I have seem to like other people more than me. I've never had a friend group, I've never had a friend with whom I could spend all my time with, tell them anything thats on my mind, and trust them wholeheartedly. People around me have others they spend time with all the time, I dont have anybody. Just because most people are nice to me doesnt make me feel better. They are nice but they treat me coldly. I know they dont enjoy my company. The way they look at me I can only imagine how disgusted they feel at the sight of me. Ever since elementary school I knew I was so different from other people, and I'm not saying it to sound quirky. I dont understand other people. I cant relate to almost anything anyone talks about, I dont understand their feelings at all. Relationships are something people like to talk about a lot, even kids. So I pretended, even deluded myself into thinking I had crushes just because I had a positive opinion about another person when I never and even now still dont have a clue what it feels like to be in love with somebody. Even when I tried to fit in, it didnt help me very much. I'm pretty good in school, and I always liked to help people with anything school related. Partly because I was happy to, but also because I want people to like me. It didnt do shit. Now some people only come to me when they need help with school, not that I refuse to help them. I cant pretend that I like being alone. I am okay with it, but I dont like being replacable. I'm pretty sure my highschool class wouldnt have felt any differently if I was never there to begin with. No matter how many people like to say "just stop caring about what people think about you", I cant do that. I do care, humans are social creatures. Do you expect me to spend the rest of my life like this? Please help me. What am I supposed to do? How can I feel better?
I don't think the answer here is to "just stop caring" thats hard, you will stoll care because you want connection. But I do think the way forward is to shift how you care. Right now, it seems like your self-worth is tied to how much effort others put into being your friend, and that’s a really painful place to be because it makes your happiness ......
reply
1 hours
sorry man, can't help you but just wanted to say that i thought i had posted this for a second. crazy how someone else is in the exact same situation as me. still, hope you feel better. i mean it
reply
3 hours