Need help

I have something extremely important coming up, and if it goes wrong because my mom cant stop being delusional, my life will be over. If I have to listen to my mom berate me for 3 hours again, I'll actually commit suicide. The only thing I can stomach doing is starving myself, but I have a problem. I could only do it for 2 days before I impulsively started binge-eating. But I want to do it for real this time, no excuses. How can I starve myself without ever taking a break for weeks at a time? I dont want to hear anyone say that I shouldnt starve myself because its bad for me. I'm doing it because its bad for me. Not a Single "please dont kill yourself" will convince me. I cant ask this anywere else. I dont want to go to therapy, I need help to starve myself.