Aki, This is Zai.

RANT!!!!!!!!

Tbh I'm just putting this here so you could see it and HOPE you still use mangago, even though the chances are slim because you mostly used mrm.

I'm sorry for acting cold when you tried to talk to me, I know you said that you were finally ready to forgive me but what even is the point anymore? We haven't texted or talked to eachother for a YEAR and now you CAME back, with my EX TEXTING ME saying bullshit about you. I was mad, I said alot of things that could hurt you because I was shocked, I already moved on from the past, from YOU and my EX.

But then instead of me hitting two birds with one stone, those shit ass two birds came running after me INSTEAD. And those two birds were YOU and my EX. Suddenly both of you were texting eachother, and you wanted to talk me again, just to ask a stupid question. FOR A STUPID QUESTION. You did all of that for a stupid question, I'm sorry I knew you said you were in a crisis but do you know what I FELT? But that doesn't excuse me and all my bullshit. Sorry for ghosting you, sorry but I think both of us really shouldn't talk anymore. It just hurts us both.

I did practically warn you the first time we both met. "Hey so I'm kind of toxic are you fine with that" Remember when I said that? I lost my friendgroup because I knew I was a toxic person, You should've expected all of these to happen. But instead you said some random bullshit how you were toxic too and thats how we became close FRIENDS. And besides we both DID had a toxic dynamic, we were practically passive aggressive with eachother.

Do you know how tiring that was? Actually YOU were the one being passive aggressive, and still you intend on getting me back each time I ghost you. Why? Why do you care about me so much. You always knew we both would just hurt eachother in the end. Why do you keep finding solutions each time I try to ghost you?. Im so tired, ive been crying over you. Over and over and over again.

I was guilty of everything, I can't help but blame myself because I was the one who approached you first and all of these wouldn't have happened if I didn't ghost you. now I hurt you AGAIN. I'm so sorry. I really should've been nicer when you texted me again last week. I hate you Aki, but when the first or second time I ghosted you, you really should've just let all of this go, you know, for self respect. I always hated you but also loved you each time you tried to find solutions. Shitty solutions that would just end up with all the same ending. We were never meant to be friends from the start.

But I can't help but cry each time I thought of your name. I wonder why? It was fun being your friend while it lasted. Im so mad at you but im also so depressed by the fact that you reached out for me again. You were always the one reaching out first. You always found a way to find me each time I switch my accounts. What even is the point of always doing that Aki? You should've never tried to reach out to me again. Why! Why? WHY?! I hate you so much. I really do. What did I do to deserve this? I'm a toxic person, I never should've made any friends in the first place. Only if I knew things were gonna turn out like this.

Im so sorry. So so sorry.