i know some may want to do it

But i had learned recently it isn't the way. Because there are people out there worried about you and will be sad if u had left. I tried to keep doing it back then without thinking how it hirt others around me. How they blame themselves and the worry they have. I couldn't see these people's worries and when they tell me "they're done" i always assume i did something wrong like oh im sorry im doing this to myself i promise i wont- NO THATS NOT A PROMISE. THATS JUST YOU wanting to please them but you will do it again anyways. Now i understand. I should've seen how much people loved me and i shouldn't tire them out so much to the point they're drained. I just want to give them a hug and say i'll be fine like genuinely this time no more of that even if i had sudden relapse, ill remember my friends who loves me. I see it now and im just sorry for them.