Complicated (am I stupid?)

I met my online bf from New Zealand on genshin (gay asf ik) and it really felt like fate bc he just so happened to play on his friends account while I was online and had his friend added (18 hour time difference makes that real hard) so he texted me asking me if I was gonna play wuwa (ik were that gay) but I said yes and we had a whole convo so we added eachother on discord, then on snap, and eventually started dating. Talked all about moving in together n all that jazz. Eventually I guess I got fed up with a lot of things and sent him paragraphs after we ignored echother for a day bc of a disagreement. I thought he just blocked me on everything after that, and that was the end of it.

Nope! Several months later I redownload zzz and find he’d messaged me a few days prior on it, so I respond back and ask him to unblock me on discord, sending him a friend request. He adds me back and apologizes profusely and tbh I was never upset at him about it. I forgave him and he seemed shocked, and I found out that it was his birthday the day I finally spoke to him again, and he’d just gotten out of surgery. It honestly felt like some shitty kind of fate like when we first met so I just rolled with it and he said he’d like to start as friends again (after I deadass confessed my feelings abt him never changed) and I was chill w that cuz I just wanted to talk to him. But after a few days it became clear our schedules weren’t matching up and he was really busy, so he told me that I deserved someone who had time for me and asked if it was ok to break up with me until he had that time. I said yeah but it’s been a week and I almost feel like I’ve been ghosted again. He texts me once about every few days but I still like this guy idk (sorry for the yap I needed someone to tell)