Anyone had an online lover? What was it like?

i hate myself for falling for someone online but in a way ig i loved it since we eventually met up irl and it lasted for like a year with few breakups in the way cus it was hard for both of us to maintain it when we didnt communicate much like insecurities, jealousy, mosunderstandings and shit... needless to say it was full of uhm things since my s/o wasn't mentally stable and to top it off he was suicidal that seriously made me depressed and it caused me alot of anxieties. It wasn't healthy now that im looking back at it but i still indeed loved them alot and don't hold any resentments. I wish in a way he was mentally stable. He took therapy and shit but they didn't help even only thing that kept him from going insane was "love" aka from his friends and me. I couldn't leave him cause of that of me being a sole reason just for one day for that to disappear. Even if so he's not here anymore, I try to get justice for him. What he deserves. A peace.

Needless to say for some online lover Im sacrificing alot of myself but it's okay cause to be fair, if he weren't there for me then I don't think i'd be alive lol. Anyways whats yall story???