Ever felt so sorry but you can't say it?

I feel sorry for someone and for the ways i acted and the ways i reacted onto things like there could have been better ways but i didn't choose those cause I thought this "choice" would be better. It's not, it instead makes everything worse. I am wanting to say sorry obv like make up for it too even but door is closed. Sorry doesn't always fix things i know that. Actions counts as well. Also idk why im feeling this way over misunderstandings that led to like fights