stupid
yes, i have. i don't know if its an attempt or something but well,,, if i remember correctly, the first time i had tried (to kms) was at the age of 6-8? I began to try and choke myself, use a cutter and drown too. it feels stupid, i know. i dont remember as to how or why ive come to do such things, its frustrating honestly. I've always thought that if i do die then perhaps my parents will be free of some.. debt and can buy themselves what they want without any worry or guilt. Perhaps they would be happy, ofcourse without me. Honestly idk! since i was a child, ive always thought i was the root of the problem/s so I figured if i die, it'll be gone, no? and till this day i still think the same, however im 3 months clean so.. thats something lol sorry idk what im saying but thats it.
Messages
Maybe your parents have made you feel (unintentionally/intentionally) responsible for their problems. Some parents often put blame on their kids saying "I'd be living a much better life if not for you" or even saying "I'm working this hard only for you", makes the child feel that they're a burden. I've one thick skinned bitch so no matter how many times my parents told me to die I've just endured. Some children are more sensitive than others though, that's why you're feeling this way. I don't know what you're going through but I'm proud that that you've tried to stop
Hi, I don't really know if thats what they used to tell me since they were barely in my childhood due to work reasons (which is probably why i take their words to heart), but thankyou. I hope you're doing good as well. :)