Idk how to feel about my father

So my parents have been divorced for most of my life and in the beginning my father was present and saw me on his days, but often times he wouldn’t show up on the days he had me for and wouldn’t call or explain why he didn’t come. One of days that he had me for, he said something that really bothered me and I remember everything about that day except for when we talked (idky I guess it was traumatic) anyways since then I’ve moved from the city where we used to live and we couldn’t find him to tell him that we left and he never called or emailed or anything to check up on me and it’s been about 10 yrs. Although he never was really here for me I do still miss him and I did have some good memories with him. I recently found him on fb and he’s doing well. I miss him and I hate him...and Idk what’s to do...anyone have any advice?