Rant thingy
I understand and know this is completely not the site to rant and I’m probably not supposed, but I’m genuinely not on any other sites really and I don’t use the internet often enough to understand and can’t bring myself to care that this isn’t a rant site and I genuinely just need to know I’m ranting to another human and not just my journal, just for understanding I’m 16. Basically I’ve been told my entire life that I need to report my family to cps but I never brought myself to care enough but I knew that they cause all of my mental issues, which is probably a lot of them. That’s not the point though, the point is that I have 2 childhood best friends who I have cared about my entire life, we go to different schools because I care about my education so I can escape my family once I’m 18. Me and a friend from my school jokingly texted one of them that they made me cry. After my friend asked me who she was and why she was texting her, I told her I didn’t know. After that I jokingly asked her if she still wanted to be friends, to my shock she said she didn’t, which is crazy to me. After that my other childhood friend texted my school friend and told my school friend that she would write a digital letter to me to explain why she didn’t want to be my friend anymore, she told my friend that I desperately need a good support system and people who care about me, but she doesn’t want to deal with me anymore, I thought this was a joke and they simply were upset for me pranking them. I texted the first one who was originally texted that they made me cry and asked her if they were being serious and if they really wanted to do this. I told her that she knew they were the only reason i hadn’t committed suicide yet and why I still have hope in my life, she told me she knows, and that’s why our friendship is toxic, which like, I get that, and all, but it really fucked me up mentally. I’m sorry if this is confusing and hard to follow, I should have thought this out more, but I’m so mentally tired and fucked up, more then I’ve ever been, and I just wish I could become friends with them again because I can’t bring myself to live or do anything anymore, I don’t know what to do with my life or myself or what to think of this, I really just want to get on my hands and knees and beg that they continue to stay my friends, because I don’t give a shit about anyone else, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stand living anymore. Anyways yeah funsies. Also I don’t have like any other close friends because I knew I had my childhood friends, I never bothered to become friends with others because I found those people so perfect for me, and I am in a lot of clubs and I know lots of people, but I’m not close to anyone else, and I don’t know what to do, so yippee, I’d love thoughts, or ignore this, both are reasonable things to do.
Don't expose your age as a minor online, especially on an illegal site.
2 reply
01 12,2024
I suggest watching Arcane. It gives you this inexplicable feeling of happiness and fulfillment, yet you long for more. It’ll consume your life but at the same time make your life more enjoyable. It gives you something to do so that you don’t have to rely on friends making you happy 24/7.
Also, like someone else said, you might be able to relat......
1 reply
01 12,2024
Try to get a job asap and get a therapist. Depending on the state you live in (if you’re in the US) you can get therapy without your parents consent. It’ll be difficult but find some other friends, based off of how you described them they were a-holes anyways cause they “didn’t want to deal with you”, but like another person mentioned, do......
1 reply
01 12,2024
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. In regards to that, I have no experience. But when it comes to toxic friendships and relying on specific people too much, I know a thing or two.
When I was 13, I had a really close friend as well as a tight knit friend group. A lot of stuff happened and basically the friend group fell apart but I kept......
2 reply
01 12,2024
Friendship is a difficult thing to keep if you don't trust each other. If your friend wanted to stop being friends with you even after everything then that is no longer your friend. Beg all you want but if you did get their friendship back, what's the point if there's a good chance it might happen again?
It's difficult, and I'm sorry for this sit......
1 reply
01 12,2024
I don’t have any guidance to give, but I do wanna give a little encouragement.
Part of the purpose of friendships (and relationships in general) is to have special people you can trust with more intimate parts of yourself, bc people aren’t meant to handle all their issues alone. I don’t know the details of your relationship, but in general, ......
1 reply
01 12,2024