Just I want to move on from them. A vent.

This is a vent so it'll be long.

I don't understand I've handled friendship lost before it's NOT new to me but I don't know why I still cry over this one sometimes, stalking their profile sometimes and all I see is them denying of me ever existing which hurt alot. Cause your existence made life worth living for me and I still feel like I have to give back the stuff they gave me back then.

It's almost a year ago now. I still remember the exact day they all left and it's just online but it seems to matter so much. Idk why it's still hurting. Everytime I see them, I'm just hurt. I tried myself hating them like "oh they're bad ppl too" but THEY AREN'T maybe they've hurt my feelings sometimes but I understand where they're coming from. I don't feel hate towards them but they feel so much towards me.

Just all because I've let someone manipulate me like why did I believed him? Cus what? I felt sorry that I chose friends before him? Idk why i even said those things or ended up doing the things I did. Why was I even so angry at them that I wished they'd all leave. Heck I hated the fights so so much back then like I just didn't rlly wanna argue with them but idk what was up with me.

I've tried so hard to move on and to let go but it's been a year now and I just keep going back to the start cus I simply see or remember them.