I really need advice.

So today I learned that my grandfather almost became physically abusive with my mom (only once) in the far far past. And such an incident never occurred again, according to my mom.

…yk I really love my grandpa..always bragged how cool he was—polite, intelligent, etc…I’m just so lost right now after hearing this and I would really like some advice on what to do now. Don't get me wrong, what he almost did is horrible., and no one does that to my mom. Its just…a view I always had about my grandpa (and my dad, some things I learned about him are questionable) is completely shattered.

(Another question, is a depressed family a toxic family, and is it normal to be scared of your dad’s eyes when he gets mad)

Yeah I know this is quite personal, its just I really need to let it out and hopefully get some advice.

Thank you,

Loki.

Sort: Newest / Hottest

▲
2

I really need advice. [Answer]

NutMan 11 09,2024

If it's a one off occasion where he didn't actually do anything abusive decades ago, that's not really an earth shattering incident. If he has been consistently a decent guy in the long time since then, then he probably is a decent guy. 1 reply

11 09,2024

▲
2

I really need advice. [Answer]

Crablante 11 09,2024

Hi Loki, I'd like to help, if I can. If you would like more specific advice, please do your best to respond to the questions posed in the next two paragraphs, otherwise, I hope the rest of my message will provide some food for thought. Your description of the situation between your mom and grandfather made me wonder, how did your mom share this ...... 1 reply

11 09,2024

▲
1

I really need advice. [Answer]

cutandcastrate 11 09,2024

Family members are human and you'll find that a lot of people will dissapoint you. Don't close yourself off but boundaries are necessary sometimes, especially if you don't feel safe. Idk if you mean you can't treat your grandad the same, but it's important to have a strong foundation of morals or you'll be swayed by stuff that could have been avoid...... 1 reply

11 09,2024

▲
1

I really need advice. [Answer]

Tree 11 09,2024

Thank you for the advice! And I actually do have some context behind that incident. Basically, my grandpa aggressively took a small box my older sibling at the time was playing (he was a toddler, below/around five, and displayed a potential abusive front against him) and crushed it in front of his face. When my mom saw that she confronted him, as...... 2 reply

11 09,2024

▲
0

I really need advice. [Answer]

轻轻落下来的叶子 11 09,2024

I mean, there is probably way more context than just "grandfather once almost became physical with mom" especially if it was only once and nothing really came out of it. So, just one instance honestly doesn't mean anything in the long run so nothing really should be shattered. Your grandpa is still your grandpa and he's still the same person. It's ...... reply

11 09,2024

▲
0

I really need advice. [Answer]

Atlas 11 09,2024

Depends on what happened in my opinion. Did your grandfather almost do something but stopped himself? Or did he want to do it but someone else stopped him? and what was it he was going to do? If he was about to hit her but stopped himself and never did it again - I'd say that is fine - well it's not fine, but getting caught up in extreme emotions ...... 1 reply

11 09,2024

Answer the question

I really need advice.

question

All questions about this thing

Hottest questions

Unanswered questions