Shoutout to Pat, Dia, Aurora, Rags, Mem, Xerxes, Zuki, Sid, Chochu, Buy & others I'm unfortunately not friends with anymore. I was scrolling thru tiktok and it asked a question on do ppl who attempt ever regret things halfway through? It made me think about myself and I realised each time I tried to well, do it. I always called for help and regret it, then it made me realise on why I kept surviving. Cause I felt bad of how these people would feel if I were actually dead... I felt guilty ppl would blame each other or themselves for not being a "good friend" when honestly I could care less about my feelings as long as these ppl are happy. It made me cry realising this bec I myself didn't know on why I keep surviving it's bc I ask to be saved everytime cus I didn't want to cause people pain even when I'm gone. Also cus like I feared this shitty person who kept staking me for years will suddenly cause chaos for them and I just wanted to protect them from him. Like hurt me but not them. I'd rather it be me than have ppl suffer cus of me. They mean so much to me.
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Messages
For anyone who is reading this don’t try or even think about suicide I know life can get hard sometimes but you shouldn’t end yourself and u should live for ur self. Also I promise ur life will get better but you have to endure the hardships and also u should consider ur own feelings and not just ur friends because you were given a life to think for ur self and get better maybe try therapy or some sort I’m not a therapist and I’m not really good with words but I know that you shouldn’t end yourself like that.