guys i genuinely feel so scared and stuck

i recently had to go back home to my abusive (used to be physically but just emotionally/mentally now) parents from vacation with my sister at her place. and im not sure how niche or unique this is but when you get the feeling of freedom just once when youve been conditioned in a very negative environment, it feels very suffocating to be back. i already tried to get majority of the tears out the first 2 days i got back but now i just feel stuck and unmotivated to do anything. i cant find the motivation to do one of my hobbies and if i do, i dont feel any joy or happiness from it. it also doesnt help that ive recently had to start my senior year of high school (aka the last year before college) and i dont have a lot/any friends in most of my classes. ive been forcing myself to put on a fake smile and make friends so i can have a nicer experience but everything is too much at once. im going to have to sit alone at lunch every other day and it makes me so scared to not be around someone im comfortable with because of all this change. it overall scares me to be seen as lonely because i feel like so much of an outcast. im trying to hold on since its my last year and ill be able to have complete freedom after, but i feel like im aimlessly wandering right now with no coping mechanisms to help with all this stress and change. i genuinely do not know what to do and im just so done with everything. the only thing i want to do is sleep away the next year and fast forward to graduation so i can finally leave. it might also just be senioritis but i have absolutely no coping mechanisms to keep me motivated nowadays.