Goblin orgy addiction

I (18f) am really introverted. I can go weeks without talking to anyone and even if I can handle the loneliness it gets tough. I usually have one really close friend but they have always a group of people they hang out with. Even if I want to meet them our plans don't always work out and it leaves me disappointed
On school breaks im being left out and often sit alone in class. I feel like I will always have this one person as the first choice but I will never be that for anyone. What should I do? Do I continue close relationships or should I just focus on myself and avoid human interaction like I tend to do? I also wish Kuzuha and Kanae were two big orcs and would squish me and treat me like a pet. I prefer orcs since goblins look like kids so I kinda lied in the title :((