What do i do now
So, a friend of mine said he was dropping me because I made a very rude comment about him in a situation where we were joking about each other. I apologised instantly, but his exact words were i kept being mean to him and that he didnt vibe with my energy. This would make anyone seem to think that I was the bad person in this situation, but when I reflected, I honestly didnt remember the last time I was even mean to him, and could only remember when he yelled at me in front of everyone for no reason. Him cutting me off is crazy to me because there was a person who made a racially targeted joke towards him, but after he apologised, they were still friends. What i told him was nowhere even close to that magnitude btw. That month, we also hung out privately, where I apologised to him for any mean comment I ever made before to him, and told him that I had an insecurity about me being mean. He said he understood and even reassured me, so I actually thought I could trust him as a friend. I actually talked to him yesterday because my friend asked me to, and he said that he wanted to drop me as a friend because I was mean to everyone else, where I told him that was a weak excuse and that he couldnt be the spokesperson of everyone. I feel very hurt with him using my privately told fears against me, and wonder if I actually am in the wrong because of this.
I can't be sure about the guy but your experience of "I don't remember the last time I was mean to him" Or "the joke I said wasn't even that serious" Etc sounds like a heavily self biased pov.
And you being mean to others is a very valid reason for breaking off a friendship. Being mean to others means others hate you/dislike you and being associate......
1 reply
29 07,2024
tdlr: friend has self-esteem issue, you are self-victimizing like a pro and not enough context.
there's two situations here.
Case 1: He sucks. Any comment you make of him, he will take negatively. He can't take a joke and he remembers every little thing you've ever done to him.
Case 2: You suck. You're rude and it's to the point you don't even k......
2 reply
29 07,2024
if you feel you didn't anything wrong then that's on your friend. maybe he is gaslighting you to believe that. make new friends, accept that he doesn't want to be your friend anymore and move on. believe me, sometimes people come and go just like that.
1 reply
29 07,2024
I think it’s difficult to judge whether or not you’re in the wrong without knowing any context or his side of the story. There’s a chance that whatever you said touched on one of his own insecurities more than the race joke you mentioned. I recommend asking him for specifics on what you did wrong because you don’t know and if he refuses the......
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29 07,2024
nah drop him fast. thats so manipulative it dont seem like u did anything. whether he took something the wrong way or not it seems like he over reacted and just kept going at u to get it all out or just use everything he had on u against u. just ignore him and ignore anyone else bothering u bout it and make better friends he sucks
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29 07,2024
Idk but u have self pov so u will not know if ur mean or nah sometimes u think ur not mean but in reality ur very mean try distancing and think again and again if ur really mean or nah but hey I don't know ur whole friendship
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29 07,2024
This had happened to me and I was the one in the wrong. But more like I just had to be more aware of my surroundings. I know it can be easy to accidentally be mean if that’s your humour or your style of comedy. And it’s easy to think that you can say whatever you want as long as you’re in the company of friends who understand you. But truth i......
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12 10,2024
just drop him you realized your mistake and apologized to him if he didn't accept your apology and still insists on breaking the friendship then it's best to do that, friendship is not a one-sided thing it involves both parties. what matters is you have done your best.
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29 07,2024