Ethel Cain's Sun Bleached Flies

the lyrics were "God loves you, but not enough to save you" and "Singing if it's meant to be then it will be
I forgive it all as it comes back to me (oh)"
the first lyrics resonates to me when i was really in the worst headspace and by means, i spent my elementary until senior high school to be in a catholic institution. One thing that is true about the students after theyve graduated to a school like that is either their faith will be deepen or they will turn against god, at some point I tried to put myself back to God until I have become an agnostic. I know that there is still a superior being but sometimes I question on how is it i am so unfortunate, why am i in a timeline where I cannot be happy, why do I always feel like I am being scrutinized by the people surrounding me, why out of all people it happens to me. But then I'm trying to be grateful to alive and by the lyrics saying that God loves me but not enough to save me from what I am suffering.
The second is when theres a time where I feel like I am just a pushover that every single thing that happens to me, including the bad thing. I always thought that maybe it was that way, that it was meant to happened anyways. Until I have heard this song I realized that whenever there is something that affects me negatively I always received it and I cannot bear to blame it in everything, that it is really what it is and I forgive it already.