bed bug problem is ruining my mental health
I've been living with bed bugs for years now. A few years ago they appeared on our curtains, but we didn't know what they were, so we got rid of the curtains entirely. Then they started appearing on my bed, so we got rid of the bed, mattress, and some other furniture. They disappeared for a while but came back a year or two ago. They're driving me insane and I haven't been able to sleep properly. They've been appearing on my backpack and my clothes and they just make me feel so dirty. School recently has ended, but I've been staying home in my bed room wasting away this whole time. I'm scared to move to different rooms and to touch people, just in case I spread it even more. I've tried to get help twice and all it has lead to are CPS visits, which makes my dad go ballistic. They aren't doing anything other than telling me to buy useless repellents and giving my dad calls, which makes things even worse. There's someone who can get an exterminator for free but my dad refuses to do anything about it or accept the offer. He keeps saying that since he doesn't see them they don't exist. One time I had an actual photo, and when I showed him he hit me in my face in the car. It made me upset so I changed the gear shift while he was driving. Him constantly getting mad is affecting how I act, and at this point I don't think it's reversible. I feel like it's gotten worse, I don't know if it's because I've been staying home lately, or if they're hatching more eggs. I'm seeing 8 of them almost daily. My hands and legs are covered in bites and it makes my body look ugly, red, and bloated. At this point I'm really considering just taking my life. It sounds kinda silly that all it takes are a few bugs to make you feel like ending it all, but I can't really deal with this anymore. I want out of this house, but I'm not allowed too unless I bring my siblings with me. There doesn't seem to be any way out of this other than just ODing rn. I feel like all the other ways of getting help are just cut off from me now, and there's no other option. What should I do?
Edit: I feel better now that time has passed. I'm just trying to take my mind off of it right now, and just focus on things that make me a bit happier. Right now all I have is to
A: somehow putting my dad in a situation where he's forced/scared into agreeing to the exterminator or
B: Wait it out until I can go to college.
Edit 2: My dad just got a call and told me to get 2 estimates from an exterminator. I'm feeling pretty hopeful for once about the situation. I found two bed bugs and decided to save them in a plastic baggie until the exterminator comes. Hopefully I'll be getting rid of them completely soon.
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Diatomaceous earth on your mattress can help lower their numbers, wash your stuff regularly and dry on the hottest setting, and take iron supplements (and vitamin c- your body needs vitamin c to absorb iron). It's surprisingly easy to apply for financial aid (don't even need great grades) and college or trade school is a fantastic way to escape. As soon as you can, get a free checking account for anything you manage to get your hands on, no one needs to even know you have it, and from then on no one can see if you get any money from financial aid or when you are able to get a job... It's not half as impossible as it feels. I've been where you are. Try to cut down the number of bugs and try to keep malnutrition from the minor blood loss at bay, and you WILL get through this. Seriously. Every minute is a win, every day, every week, and suddenly you'll be on the other side. Other people, like me, have been exactly in your spot. You've got this.
I've tried diatomaceous earth but I don't really see any difference. Washing the sheets takes a full day, and I'm scared to see a bunch of bed bugs all at once. I don't really leave my room to avoid spreading the bugs. My bed is the biggest part of my room and I refuse to sit on my bare mattress just in case more bed bugs get on me. I'm not allowed to use the dryer, even if I use it it's not really effective. It can't dry anything in one cycle or even multiple cycles. All I does is spin your laundry around I guess. College does sound like a really good option. I hope time will pass a bit quicker.
This happened to me too twin my mom did nothing until they spread to her room lived with them for like 3 years and now i cant stand bugs at all, honestly what i did was like try to block them with blankets and find one spot in my room where they weren’t (even then they would pop up) but like a single square in my room where they weren’t and stay there for the last two years of that hell and like try to pick them out and keep em out of that one spot
My dad and I don't get along. I've had thoughts to just catch the bed bugs and leave them in his bedroom, but my little brother shares a bed with them. I don't want anything bad to happen to my siblings. They move around the house a lot and might spread it without knowing. I don't even know if my dad will ever notice them at all even if I do ever go through with it. My bed is quite large so it takes up most of my room. I don't really have anywhere in my room to avoid them.
You could also post a video online and start a gofund me it might help with the costs of getting rid of them if u have some cash get bed covers/bed protector i forget what they called i have those rn and no bugs can get through them heavy duty
Thank you
I understand how you feel we used to have a terrible black mold problem and roach infestation in our old house because of water damage. It got so bad that it spread to my room and the mold made me so sick. This was during quarantine so there was no escape, I don't have any advice for you, but try r/bedbugs on reddit for advice. Good luck bro
Thank you
For dealing w the bed bugs themselves, have u watched mark rober’s YT video on it? Everyone seems to swear by his advice & there’s a lot of advice in the comments. I am so sorry u are going through this. I can’t speak on specific advice bc I probably do not live in ur country so I don’t know the laws. Is there anything u can do to get out of this house? Or start a plan for leaving as soon as ur an adult (I am assuming ur a child as u mentioned CPS)? My country’s system is different, but imo in leaving you in not only a fundamentally unsafe house (with an abusive father) but also an unclean and bed-bug infested house with only a few calls to ur father which consequently enrages him, CPS are fundamentally failing in their job. Bc ur father is very abusive and honestly, as one victim of an abusive parent to another, that’s gonna fuck ur mental health up far more than the bed bugs. The bed bugs are one of his ways of hurting you, he knows they’re real and he’s choosing not to act, and is basically gaslighting you and denying reality. And then leaving u to deal with the horror of all ur stuff being constantly taken over by them, as bed bugs do. I am rlly sorry you are going through this, u do not deserve it.
Honestly, altho ppl shit on it, I suggest making posts also on Redd¡t. Yh there are some dodgy ppl on there, but there’s a vast number of ppl who have dealt with the same things and can offer rlly valuable support on subredd¡ts, especially those for victims of abuse. There are also helplines in most countries so I really really recommend calling them especially when it comes to suicdal ideation, at least to get everything off ur chest, and they are also a way of getting physical help.
I don't think I'll be able to go anywhere once I turn into a legal adult. I'm not allowed to work and I have no where to stay. Also my family won't let me leave by myself unless I take my siblings with me.
In this case you can involve a 3rd party victim support type organisation. I can’t be more specific bc idk the country but in many countries there are helplines and services, and they exist to help ppl in situations like u get further support / escape
When you say your family won’t let you leave without your siblings, do u mean they want you to only go when u can take them with you when they’re old enough? Or something else?
They want me to take them when they are old enough. Thanks for recommending the video, but I've tried everything except the exterminator. I know someone who can get an exterminator for completely free but my dad keeps turning them down.
I feel like I need someone to scare or force my dad into accepting the free exterminator from the social worker, but CPS isn't doing any of that.
personally i think your dad is the bed bug
Even if I somehow get taken away from him, I don't really have anywhere to go. My uncles live with my grandparents and she has to take care of them and my cousins (one of my uncles killed his wife and them himself so they're stuck with her). My mom is overseas and I don't think they can just send me over there to live with her.