Still in college

Well, yeah life post-school is terrifying, but you can’t go to school for the rest of your life. I have a bachelor’s in fine art. Almost all people who get the same degree is pressured to get their masters, so they can be an art professor. The only way you can get paid a real salary to make art. Otherwise there is almost no jobs for us. That was always the first thing anyone ever said to me is that I wouldn’t have a job, with that major. I think I could have done something decent with my degree, if I hadn’t been married to a complete wanker. The thing is that there aren’t enough schools that needed art professors to completely support doing that. A large number got the even bigger student loans without a job that justified it. So, I really truly believe, especially with hindsight, you should only go to college to learn what you need to learn in order to do what you want to do as a job. Hopefully something you truly love. After a certain point everyone in college has spent too much to drop out. However I’ve always heard that only people who really want to be a Dr for reasons like someone they love has/had some illness, & they want to help others with the same illness, as opposed to wanting to have the job that makes a lot of money, can handle the stress of medical school. I’ve heard it’s extremely stressful and difficult.

Too be honest that’s why I don’t like so many people sending their kids to private schools. It’s eroded public schools, and it puts too much pressure on kids like you. It’s not fair to you. You should have gone to school to learn how to do what you love, not for any other reason. Plus it puts pressure on parents of other children to send them to private school, or “they won’t be able to do what they truly want”. Not true. If a kid wants to do something bad enough, they can decide for themselves to work crazy hard and get scholarships. You should have been allowed the freedom to choose. I was told in 9th grade that if I wanted to go to college then, I had to get a scholarship. It made me fold from the residual pressure during my 3rd semester of college and I dropped out for a while. I did make that decision and came back and never got a C after that. I don’t regret those decisions. The professor I hated was forced to retire after several women complained, and I came back because he was gone. However I was satisfied that I learned what I wanted to learn from the next professor. More than I dreamed of. I went through some horrible shit after I went back. I still think it was worth it. Even though I became handicapped 6 years later, unable to make the kind of art I want to. ╥﹏╥ a true waste of a degree. I was supposed to get an art job, with a salary when a certain bldg was done being remodeled. It got delayed, and wasn’t completed until after I gave up hope of getting better. The most frustrating shit ever! (╯°Д °)╯╧╧

However I will say one thing. If you go to medical school and don’t care about your focus, then become a rheumatologist! The only one we had in our town left, and we haven’t had one in 5 years! This town is mostly retired people from up north. I can’t stand to travel to the cities that have one, I mean it’s too physically painful. Even in cities there aren’t enough. Most Drs don’t go for it because they can’t make money from surgeries. Rheumatologist don’t perform operations.

I understand your fear, but sometimes really good things can come about from the bad things. Try not to let the fear get to you, or you can get too sick to ever really be happy again. If you’re going to fear something, fear bad health! Although do it in moderation. Fearing anything too much is guaranteed to make you sick. I'm sorry for preaching too much. I don’t know if anything I said is helpful, but either way, I still want to say “good luck” with dealing with the fear and figuring out your life’s path. (=・ω・=)

I went through the same thing in my first year of college, although in my case it was for engineering. My advise is to think of what actually interests you. If you aren't passionate about your field of study it will be difficult to get scholarships for your advanced studies, since lots of them require recommendation letters from your professors and essays written by you about whatever the scholarship is for. Do some research into the field on your own, read some peer reviewed papers, and just see what's out there and what you could do with the degree. If you give yourself a goal you'll feel less lost, so figure out what you want to do with your degree over the next year or so. Remember that most people don't experience the whole "I've been dreaming of doing this since I was a kid." Once you've found a few fields that interest you, try to get involved in them. You could probably find some internships if you talk to your college's psychology department, or look on Linked In, either way try to get some experience in your field. You'll be more likely to get a job if you have prior experience to put on a resume since it would give you something to talk about with interviewers. If med school scares you (which you should feel no shame for if it does) or you are concerned about being able to get a full ride for med school, you could always have getting a PHD in psychology and being a researcher as a back-up plan. Scholarships might be less competitive if you aren't looking at ones for med school. Either way, my advise is to do lots of research and talk to people, especially professors or people who have already gone through the schooling that you're planning to go through. Believe me, I know that real life is scary and so is the idea of figuring out something that you at least won't hate to do for the next 30 years when you're not even old enough to legally drink yet, but you're not alone with that fear either.