I thought having friends would be great

I kept complaining how I don't have friends, how lonely my first few months in college cause I didn't have people I could rely on.... but now that I do have friends why is it so suffocating?

Maybe I'm really just the problem like really don't deserve to have human relationships haha (literally crying right now) like I'm so scared tomorrow cause I don't know what to do, I don't know how to face her, I don't even know if I did something wrong, the vibe just felt really off yesterday.

Like I seriously can't deal with this right now, I'm not emotionally and mentally cable of dealing with relationship problems, I'm really fucked. Crying and hating myself is the only option hahahahahahahahaha