super long story idk how to condense sorry I just want closure to this paranoia

basically i have one friend who takes the bus with me everyday, and I've been friends with her for like almost five years now and we've never really been in the same friend group (lowkey jealous) but basically I tried once to fit in with her's and it didn't work out but she stayed friends with them for the 5 yrs we have been friends. I on the otherhand fell out w friends a couple times and switched groups as well a couple times, and she's always been the one I kinda went to when stuff like that happened bc she'd lowkey be the only one supportive towards me when I got upset. Anyways right now I have my own friend group, but today she finally asked me (i could always tell that she noticed this tho tbh so I was surprised she finally asked me) but she's always felt awkward around my current friend group because she noticed that when I'm upset I go to her and not my friend group. Today I was crying and she was consoling me and my friends literally saw me and didnt do much. I can't blame my friends fully though because they have expressed before they aren't good at dealing with upset people, and I tend to be the only who gets upset out of the three of us at school anyways. Is it weird that I always go to my one friend instead of my actual friend group? I notice I am also not as close with my friend group probably because they notice this, but is it my fault? Like I feel way more comfy with the friend I have had for nearly 5 yrs, but then some times I feel embarassed that she actually turns to her friends when she's upset (i don't think its necessarily bc of me we've like never fought but just when she has friendship problems she doesn't rly always tell me but to hr actual friend group). Am i being paranoid about this? Like I feel embarassed that when she has friendship problems she can talk it out with them, whereas with me I'm always on the receiving end of sth that made me upset because past friends were never great to me and only she would see that