Friend group drama
Before starting I would like to mention that I am South Asian, our culture is very different from the west so keep that it mind. Also it’s gonna be very very long so just skip it if you don’t wanna be bothered.
So I had this huge group of friends for 8 years. We had been friends from 5th grade and never really had any fight or falling out between us. My family situation wasn’t really the best so these friends meant a lot to me. A while ago this girl who is sorta liked the leader of our group called me saying she wanted to study with the same chemistry private tutor I was studying. Now his salary is very high so me and 2 of my friends were taking lessons from him at my house. She asked if she could study with us and I was like yes of course but she said she wanted to change the location from my house to hers because it’s beneficial for all 3 of them. Now I would have agreed but I had this online class right after the private tuition session so I told her that and she was like okay and never contacted me about this situation again. We kept texting normally after that and she never brought it up. After a while the other two friend (they're twin siblings) stopped coming to the tution because of their financial problems so I had to stop the lesson altogether as I wasn’t rich enough to take lessons from him alone. Now I started learning chemistry from an uni student online and after a while all of them (the twins and the leader) started taking his online classes as well but right before our test exams he fell sick and at this point we are in deep trouble because our syllabus wasn’t finished. Now I contact those three asking if they want to go to the chemistry teacher we used to take lessons before but they all reject it, the twins mention their financial problems and the leader didn’t really say much about it. I was studying alone at home for the exams when I listened from another of my friends that they started taking lessons from THAT very teacher I suggested taking lessons from but they just excluded me. Now I try to contact them about this situation , thinking maybe there was some misunderstanding only to find out they have blocked me on social media, I called them but they didn’t pick up and since we didn’t have any real life classes I wasn’t able to confront them directly. That was the end of it. Everyone got busy with exam preparations. After the test exam there was a month gap till the actual board exam and during that time we never talked. I heard from my best friend who is also close friends with them that there was a reason why they acted like that but she can't say it to me. She also mentioned how the group leader cried in a call with her saying I was the reason she couldn’t study to that chemistry teacher and all. Even after hearing everything my best friend kept being close friends with them because I didn’t want to be the one to make her choose. Months passed and on the last day of board exam one of the twins approached me. We were hanging out together as a huge group and all of them were part of that group. She didn’t apologize or anything, she was like would you accept my request if I sent you one, I was like okay. Now see we had been friends for years and for the most part I was a huge pushover who would go along with everything the others were saying and I didn’t want to lose people I have considered as my precious friends for so long. Then we all started preparing for uni admission exams, months passed. I met up with my best friend, all of us were planning to meet up on the day of Eid. Even the leader was going to come, my best friend kept going on about how awkward it would be, how much she appreciates the leader friend , how she wished everything to be normal again.. She even said she could make me apologise to the leader but the leader won't apologize. At this point I got angry at her because she kept taking her side and when I asked why she said she couldn’t tell me the reason. Then we went home and had another fight, I said I didn’t want her to just drop them but I would like it if she didn’t take their side in front of me when to me clearly they were the ones in the wrong. On the Eid day we went to hang out and the best friend didn’t say a word to me. I came home and asked if she was going to stop talking to me over this. She said yes and how she was pretending to be my best friend for a while. That really hurt me, we stopped talking altogether but I didn’t remove her from my social media. Months passed and one day she suddenly texted me. I noticed that she was the one who removed me from all her social media accounts. I told this story to like 2-3 people as I didn’t want to involve everyone in this mess. After that I got busy with uni. Another eid came, I saw some of my friends got together. They invited all of my ex friends but not me, when I asked a friend about it she said she thought I wasn’t in town so they didn’t invite me, another one said they had no idea that I wasn’t invited.. There is going to be this big hang out of the whole group and people who have no idea about the situation invited me. Should I go there? Like I don’t want to stop hanging out with people who I am still friends with but I am hesitant as I have such a messy situation with so many of them. Should I cut ties with everyone who hung out with others and excluded me? I am really hesitant about it since they could be telling the truth. And I have like no friends besides them, making real friends is hard and I have such long history of friendship with so many of them. Also I got little to no closure from this whole situation, why do you think they did what they did? There was a time I shed lots of tears over the friendships that ended and it physically hurt me to think that they just cut ties with me over something so trivial.
I'll be honest with you: Those aren't your friends, different culture or not. You will keep on getting hurt if you keep on hanging on with people that VERY obviously don't care about your feelings. They REFUSE to explain the reason why they treat you this way, something which means that there's nothing you can do and that they do not deserve ANY ch......
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12 04,2024
firstly, your "friend group" having a leader tells me it wasn't a friend group at all, I know this sounds cliche.but friend groups don't have leaders, they're just a group of friends. i think your so called best friend wont tell you why they wont hang out with you because she is the reason why. i think she spread rumors about you to them or said so......
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12 04,2024
Girl those bitches are so fake they're going to fuck eachother over when you leave trust. then one by one they'll come to you telling their stories of how "the group leader" treated them like shit and either you all split or you'll be friends again. What I'm going to advice you to do is immediately try and make Uni friends (if you're still in uni) ......
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12 04,2024
man idk the fact that this happened over tuition just seems all a bit dramatic from ur friends - like it wasn;t even abt sth to do with morals if you get me
sth like that shouldn't call for a big fallout, or even gossping behind people's back
if i were you I wouldn't go, I am a big pushover myself and tbh If I was in ur situation id also wanna go,......
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18 04,2024
Yet another example of people taking life too seriously. I think u pretty much answered your own question, 'being a pushover.' If you're friends with someone you don't call them a leader? lol that's weird. Have some respect for yourself bcuz they clearly don't respect you since they were selfish and jus wanted to fulfill their own agenda. shit's li......
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12 04,2024
First things first girlie pop it's more about the principle of the situation than the actual situation and the fear of being alone will put you in situations that feel worse than being alone, culture aside these people don't fuck with you. Am going to say this with my chest non of those people care about you, you could be dying of thirst and they w......
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13 04,2024
Tldr your friends are immature assholes
Gurl I swear don't be afraid to lose friends, I know it's a bit easier said than done but if the friendship has this weird power dynamic then it's better to let go. Being friends with someone shouldn't feel like a chore, it shouldn't be full of tears plus it's always better to be friendless rather than be wi......
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18 04,2024
All I can say is it's better to let go of the leader and those who removed you from social media, blocked you etc. those are NOT real friends
It's better to be alone than be surrounded by toxic people who is obviously talking behind your back. I only have 1 friend lol we barely talk because we're both introverts but we still got each other's back.......
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18 04,2024
The only way for you to get closure is to talk to the main party involved and that is the so called "leader" ask her what you did that makes her cry and why she blame you for not being able to take that teacher lesson. Ask her is she has any thoughts on fixing and restarting you guys relationship or does she want to cut you off entirely.
You won......
1 reply
18 04,2024