For people who are at the edge.

So this is a personal story but it's to show anyone that things can get better. Although I still have random waves of depression I had a healthier lifestyle when around them. So this experience goes like this...

Due to bullying at my old school, I was given a glimmer of hope. The vocational school was asking, like always, the 8th graders to sign up. I had a few "friends" I asked to join me in signing up since I need at least one person who I know to stick to, to not have panic attacks due to social anxiety. They told me they wouldn't follow me and go to the vocational school (this isn't the reason friends is in quotation marks, they were genuinely nice to me at times but they preferred to not be nice to me when it came to someone around them who was more popular. I still signed up and even hoped that at least someone from my grade and school to go as well. They didn't... so I was the only freshman of my school in the entire building, I was super socially awkward at times. I didn't have a table to sit at during lunch so I sat on the floor till one of the nicest juniors invited me to sit with them after 3 days of me sitting on the floor.( I was sitting on the floor because every table had someone sitting there and I was afraid to approach any of them.) My time had come since the lunch monitor was going to force me to sit somewhere. So I agreed, everyone introduced themselves and everything was going fine I still felt uncomfortable to eat during lunch (I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch since 5th grade just a cup of coffee in the morning). I tried to talk to the one guy at the table and I was pretty soft-spoken (I was always told to shut up by other students due to being "too loud"). I called his name, at the time we introduced all of us together I think I misheard his name and was too scared to ask for him to repeat it (this guy wasn't the nice junior to invite me but her boyfriend). He yelled at me and that caused me to panic and I ran to the other lunchroom, there was an empty table with a lunchbox on it. At the time I just thought that it may have been a lost item that someone from a different period left but the next day someone was sitting there. It was my only safe space so I decided to sit there. I was eating a tad bit by then but still not enough to call lunch. I never felt comfortable doing my school work at home so I was deemed the iPad girl. (they gave us school-issued iPads for our work). I forgot to turn off airdrop since I never used apple products prior, and was airdropped an image that said "Your fat and don't sugar coat it cause you'd eat that too". I used to get called fat and that was one of the reasons I stopped eating. I was already very sensitive being in a new environment with no one I knew so I broke down and cried. Some football player came by, probably heading to his seat after getting lunch, and put his hand on my shoulder. He asked me what was wrong and when I told him about it he told me, "You're not fat at all you are very beautiful and you don't have to listen to anything that anyone says". So at the time, I didn't know who he was or what he looked like since my vision was blurred due to tears, dude was talking BS cause I know I don't look pretty ESPECIALLY when I'm crying XD. But I could hear him say something in the distance when I looked over I saw the guy who originally sat at the table alone super worried about me. The football player went and yelled at the kid who sent it, I knew who he was because our names are what the device's names and I had science with him. (he was a freshman like me.) So the rest of lunch passed and I didn't get my work done lol but after two days of sitting and doing my work, I decided to say something to the guy who sat at the table with me. He was also a super quiet person whose name was L (names will be shortened for confidentiality), he didn't talk much but I shared some of my likes and after he heard I liked anime he got super excited. He jumped up went to a different table and brought over his friend G, he introduced him and told him that I like anime and turned to me and told me that he liked anime. The table grew by one, his friend decided to sit with us. Then after the football players and marching band members went to take group photos, I finally met him face to face (he walked me to my Lab since his Lab was just down the hall), the football player came to the table the next day and sat at the table. His name was M and apparently, he told the kid who sat at the next table over that he would sit between me and him for the rest of the year. (I didn't learn this until later in the year, and the tables were circular I sat on one side and M sat across from me). I'm guessing that he wanted to talk to his friends before he moved tables. The next day his friends came to the table. M would walk me to my social studies class after lunch and go to his class. And I guess he told J(one of the friends, he decided to permanently move to the table) to take his place after he graduated since J now walks me to class with his friend little m (lol little m, fits him perfectly XD. He's a new member of the table this year, but almost all the members are seniors who are going to graduate). The photo I'm going to attach was before J and little m joined the table. But anyways I formed this large friend group just by having a good cry, well not a good one but you know. They are like my antidepressants and I'm upset that I can't contact them during the quarantine. Only one of them is still responding and M has left the chat due to having a job and what-not. I miss them. My friends are the best and I would kick anyone who would hurt them, I WILL BRING FORTH THE CRUSADE FOR THEM. They are like my favourite people in this whole world a few of them are like big brothers who can protect me at times. ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~