Just want to say it to you guys who are like me

Sorry if my english is shitty I am from France ...
There once was a time when I was like you guys and maybe I still am so I understand you and don't want to judge you
I was bullied at school for 4 years and wanted to end it, I thought I was invisible and that no one would notice so I decided to jump from a boat we were in for an excursion with my class... when I decided it I felt so free it was the first time I decided something for myself and maybe I wanted to punisch them so that they can't sleep anymore it would not have been that bad
This day a boy from my class saved me and talked by talking to me about the senery and such I think he noticed my face but still he didn't say a thing this was like a miracle and I decided to stay for a while at least to see him...
Ok I am gonna make it quick for you guy but one year later we changed school to high school and he commited suicide
We didn't talk that much after this excursion but I felt well when he was there still I didn't see anything comming something about his family I heard
First of all I have to say idiots won't stop sleeping because of it it is wrong they are idiots his childhood friend didn't seem schocked at all when she told me he was dead so don't do it because you hate people it is useless
Secondly I suffered like a curse it has been 3 years and right now my hands are still trembling as I write those words
It was the most terrible fealing of my life and the only reason I didn't die is because I promised that day that I would be brave and liveproud of myself for the rest of my life
So please guys don't judge yourself make tour own choices and try to protect what needs to be protected givea meaning to this life
I would like to give you some of my strengh like he did for me
Maybe I wrote it to pay him back but still I love you guys and you all deserve to be rescued even if you don't think so
You have the right to live