Help me with my confusion
So I'm a girl and I've always had some circle of friends and crushes (on girls hihi) but i never confessed so i kept it inside. I guess I'm lucky bc all of my ex crushes are my friends now but i made a mistake, i fell in love with one of my closest friends. And i had a crush on her for a solid 5 months and this particular crush is isn't like any of my crushes before. Every single day i always think abt her but when we meet at school its like all my feelings for her disappeared ( I'm confident around her but i can't make any eye contact) i can't initiate any conversations with her unless she approaches first (btw i am known for being funny) so i always try my best to make her laugh. I imitate her likes so she would notice me but to no avail. Since I'm one of her closest friend, i can hug her whenever she wants. I ALWAYS try to smell good but every time she hugs me I'm drenched with water from washing my face.
I constantly write poems to vent my feelings and its mostly abt her. She's always on her phone so she normally doesn't notice me walking by. This all began when i was in Christmas break and suddenly i thought abt her and it never stopped. Help. ╥﹏╥
Messages
Try to learn how to read body language and try to figure out if she's showing any signs that she might have feelings for you, too.
Like, is she actually focused on the phone when she's on it, or does she look like she's doing it to try and hide her nervousness around you (I'm saying this bc I used to do things like that). Or, is she hugging you for too long or the opposite, does she let go too quickly, again, like she's nervous? Also, does she tell you things that she wouldn't tell anyone else, are you the first person she calls when she has problems? Does she keep on seeking ways to spend more time with you?
This could indicate that she's feeling...something. Though, it could be just a best friends thing. Like fuck, we girls are sometimes really hard to read and figure out. You can literally be kissed by a girl and not know if she likes you in that way, or if she's just doing it for fun. Fuck. But yeah, try to study body language, and then confess if she's showing at least some signs. Anyways, good luck!
I think you gotta realize what’s at stake here. It’s totally normal to have these feelings for someone as if have to :) But I think the most important thing is making sure that she has somewhat of the same feelings towards you, or at least the ability to accept you. Don’t worry about rejection, these things always have a chance of happening but life is too short for regrets! I’m rooting for you :))