I want to quit my Yaoi addiction (looking for support not advice)

well i just wrote out a whole paragraph but in all honesty, especially with how popular the "no fap" movement is with the self-growth community online, i think that linking you to a video etc with a more coherent speaker will be more helpful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7lnIdudEy8
title: De-sexualizing My Brain Changed My Life by ManTalks if you don't trust links

as with most addictions, it happens because the subject material brings you dopamine. however over-consumption will mean that being in this dopamine high for so long will make everything else seem bland in life. (hence irl sex life not bringing as much dopamine as porn) its like the equivalent of having cake so often that your satisfaction with healthy meals decreases. there are plenty advice videos and journeys online (especially with nofap, which is very common in the self growth community) which i think will help you get motivated to quit. if you follow along with other people's journeys then that kind of makes you more conscious of your own actions and you will feel a desire to get better.

now, for actual ways to quit. because yes, quitting entirely for at least 2-3 weeks will reset your dopamine levels and most things will naturally flow after and your satisfaction will be better. whenever you feel the urge to consume porn, replace it with a different activity. like going for a run and getting some fresh air, (you can literally just jog on the spot if the weather is not kind to you) drinking water, etc. something that will benefit you a lot is slowly moving from yaoi or hentai to reading non-sexual plots. you can slowly get into novels - even if its just 10 pages a night, slowly increasing that, this will replace whatever else you want to read. the truth is, the more you DO something, the more your body and mind will be accustomed to that thing and the more they will WANT to do it. if you want more energy, use energy. workout. this is sending a signal to your body that you need to recieve more energy to have a good amount of stamina for regular workouts. your body and mind both grow accustomed to what you WANT to do. that is the hard cold truth. and how do they figure out what you want to do? well, its by what you're actually doing. if you are reading yaoi and recieving dopamine and getting turned on by this then your body and mind think "alright lets just keep sending dopamine for this activity" and they think they're doing a great job. so, what do you want to do? quit? then just stop reading. the first few days will be harsh and dont get hung up over porn relapses but seriously, the LESS you read something, the LESS you will WANT to read it. it will be that easy once you reach the curve in your self development. and remember, if you want to build a good habit or break a bad one, give yourself 1 month. just try to do it (or avoid doing it) every day for one month and if your mind KNOWS that quitting is possible, then you have essentially already quit.

im sure you are aware of atomic habits by james clear and cant hurt me by david goggins. the former will give you solid and logical steps to overcome a certain habit and break bad ones, and the latter will give you motivation and willpower to push yourself to succeed. free pdfs can be found online ffrom searching. i mean, we're reading everything illegally on here so im sure you wont have a problem with that. personally i have purchased james clear's book but "cant hurt me" ive seen a few negative comments about it being iffy with his language but that is in the 2nd half of the book which is not as great or necessary as the 1st half.

for sex life, i mean, i think exercising and showering beforehand will make you feel it a lot better but damn that's the closest to "solid" advice i can give you lol sorry about that. i am sure there are better forums and videos covering that topic.

now i am sorry for any incoherence in my writing here, i hope this makes sense and half of this is based off memory. but ahh to sign off, you can do it. fighting!

Hii, I just glimpsed at ur bio, it’s mostly just bl, maybe u have wired ur brain into thinking sexy men = yaoi, which makes u habitually sexualise non sexy men( anime guys whom u like) similarly since u have u do its with ur husband without the yaoi filter, u don’t get turned on and hence u have this urge to read bl before sex irl, it’s not too hard, at least u have already realised ur problem
1. It would be extremely hard, but u r willing to do anything just delete all accounts to read or watch yaoi, really hard, have some cheat days in 2 months n slowly stop it
2. First step would be extremely hard, so try reading good straight smut so u won’t think only yaoi is sexy stuff
3.My last advice is to ask ur husbands help, or if u r afraid just try watching porn together and slowly bring in gay porn and casually mention u find 2 guys doing it extremely hot, and soon include ur husband whenever u read yaoi so ur husband knows what’s ur preference( like how seme treats uke ) and maybe he might try some of those moves to make u sexually like him back
4. Not everyone’s husband is cooperative to such level, so if he’s weird out by this or isn’t helpful therapy is ur only solution! Don’t let ur small high school hobby drift ur married life, after all its diction written mostly by another women for us to enjoy, don’t take this too seriously

Good luck and I hope the best for you, sister

Judging from your reading list, op you're not doing very well; all I see is gay porn. You should diversify your reading list, one at a time, try reading non-yaoi/bl stories every day, and try to reduce your reading of gay porn.

My recoms:
- https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/this_witch_of_mine/
- https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/brutal_satsujin_kansatsukan_no_kokuhaku/
- https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/false_child/


( But how did you get into a relationship with that mental state?)

Also, if you're also looking for support feel free to message me and we can chat about it in a no judgment space :)

Are you able to afford therapy? Your university may offer something for free or subsidised. What you’re describing sounds like an addiction which is difficult to overcome on your own with no support. Therapy can also help you work out your relationship with your husband and how you view gay/bi men. Good luck, wishing you all the best