Idek honestly

Ok mini rant here but also questioning does anyone else just like want to have a relationship but like the thought of like erring close to someone just like freak you out like?

I’m like 90% sure I’m asexual like the thought of doing it with another human being just disgusts me and I don’t think I could ever wanna do it but I’m now questioning if I’m also aromantic because I like the thought of a relationship but i don’t think I could ever get that close with someone

A situation I’m in right now is a person in my friend group definitely likes me and has asked me to hang out and go to a look out spot by the lake to look at the stars or sum and he’s really nice but I had made myself sick at the thought of going to hang out with him alone and like thinking of the fact that if I ever got in a relationship with him I would have to bring up the fact that I’m asexual and I haven’t really told anyone that yet and I think it would be embarrassing ish