In love with my best friend
We've been friends for 8 years and I fell in love with her 3 years ago. That moment when I realised she wasn't just a friend, she wasn't just a sister to me, she was my soulmate, gave me such a warm feeling. But right after that feeling all I could do was panic, because the question became - should I preserve the friendship or give everything up for that tiny possibility that she will accept my love? For those 2 years I kept my mouth shut, told myself it would never work, she isn't into women. And for the time being it worked, I thought I could got over it. But then HE came into her life. He began to charm her in so many ways and I got jealous. I couldn't stand him when he became her boyfriend. And he made a lot of mistakes too, even made her cry. I wanted to beat him up for it but she said that other guys would hurt her even worse, he's still the best one out here. But I was better! I would give her the world! He could never live up to ME!
As time passed I realised what she liked about him. Him and I were incredibly similar. The only difference was our gender. That was quite a hurtful realisation. And she began to prioritise him instead of me. Not to mention the fact that my jealousy would begin a lot of fights. I came to my senses eventually, though. I understood that I can't spend my time chasing someone who will never be mine. So I decided to have one last goodbye. I am a very dramatic person so I got her an expensive necklace. I told her to wear it everyday, because it is a representation of my love. And, as a finishing touch, I kissed her and told her that she has no idea what it's like to fall in love with her. I thought that would bring me closure, let me move on. It kinda did help but I still find myself thinking about her at 2am. I go on dates and flirt with new people but they don't make me feel like she does. I hope to find someone like her again.
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Yeah, I'm having a similar situation but I'm trying to just deny it in my mind hoping the feelings go away. She is 100% straight and I'm not sure if I like her or if I'm just jealous as a friend. Back to the subject at hand, I wouldn't hope for some like her but for someone who I hadn't even knew I wanted, ya know? If you keep thinking "I hope I find someone like her." then you'll only ever be thinking of her. You don't have to listen to my advice but just make sure your not comparing everyone you meet with the standard of your best friend. No one is the same (〜￣△￣)〜
I don't want to actually give you any advice, 'cause one can never know what the other is going through or have gone through without living that person's life.
But I would like to tell you a small story. It's an actual story, so I really don't know if it would help you with anything or maybe even it's possible that u'll regret reading this coz you might feel it quite bore. So it goes this way......
My best friend got attracted to me, slowly he even fell in love with me, and I was completely clueless about any such thing & one day out of the blue he proposed me, I was shocked & I did the stupidest thing in the world, I ran away scared.
I ran away cause he is the epitome of perfection while I'm just a clumsy person, & it had been some time that even I had feeling for him, the next day he approached me coz being the social awkward I would never have been able to do that & he confessed again but this time I hugged him & I thought it's the start of my happy life the forever kind of life, but we weren't aware that it was the beginning of the bad phase of our lives, the honeymoon period was beautiful but as a couple when we faced the other problems it got very messy.
My beautiful friendship turned into an abusive relationship, & being not able to handle the emotional wounds any longer I broke up after 3 years being together.
I lost not just my boyfriend but also my best friend, we had the same group of friends, I lost my friends too
I was pushed into depression, I even tried committing suicide twice, but was somehow saved or was stopped both the times
I was a living corpse but then when I least expected it a very gentle guy fell for me, I had avoided anyone who approached me with romantic intentions after my break up so I avoided him too, but it's always this way about destination, u get the person made for you when you least expect it
U still have such a beautiful life to live, don't repeat any of my mistakes, I avoided any possible romantic relations & altogether love coz I knew no one can love me like what he loved me and no one can make me feel like how he made me feel, but the one thing that I forgot about was no 5 fingers of ur hand are the same, same way no 2 people can love you the same way, or you can't love no two people the same way
Don't let any of your past experiences overrule the possibility of a new happy relationship, you may not be able to love the new person like what you loved ur best friend, but you still would be able to love them if they are the one made for you
Now enough of my preaching, I wish the best for you
As someone who is also in love with her best friend, you and I are in a similar boat. I agree with the person who also said that time heals everything. It seems like you are already beginning to distance yourself from her. Maybe some distance is what you need. Was she still with her boyfriend when you confessed and did she say anything? I think in order to move on you need a distraction, whether that be picking up a new hobby, or working on yourself. I personally find that pampering myself/working out can help me feel like I'm becoming a new me (if that makes sense.) Meet new people, etc. Not sure if this helped or not, I hope the best for you!
They say time heals everything. I know it's not easy to get over someone, especially someone you have been in love with for years. And you know it'd kinda sad that your relationship ended just like that. I mean, even if you can't date, it would be nice if you could still stay by each other. But I know it's probably not that simple.
They also say that only a new love can solve a situation like this. But that's also not so easy and it still takes time.
So what I want to say is, I really wish you the best, I hope you can find someone else to love soon, someone that suits you even better, someone that loves you back. And I'm not sure if you want that, but I also hope that after some time, after you got over her, you guys can be friend again.
Now I feel like I'm giving "advice" to someone who didn't even want it. I'm sorry, I just really wanted to write something. But really, I just hope everything will work out for you, one way or another.
what was her reaction when you kissed her?