I don't know if it'll stay up or not
Hii,, just trauma dumping here... Please don't judge if you don't like it don't read thanks. Since I don't have anywhere else to talk about this I decided to write it here...
So.. I've been raped by my brother who is 10 years older than me. It happened when I was 13 and he touched me when I was sleeping. I didn't understand it by that time what happened. And thought it was normal because I was also touch sexually by another man when I was 5. I forgot about it all but at 14 when my mom died my bro started to get closer to me giving me stuff and cheering me up I thought that it was just an accident?? but no it was not. One day I was sitting in his room and he forcefully touched me and it escalated and he went all the way. It had been going on for about 4 years and he just said it was normal and ""I love you very much"" etc etc. I couldn't tell anyone even now I'm fucking writing here haha.. I belong to a Muslim country and if I tell anyone what happened to me or what I've done they will surly put the blame on me.. that's why I can't do that. I'm now 20 and I still have to live with him. Because I don't have a home nor any parents to live with I'm all alone no money nothing.
The only thing I want is to leave him as early as possible and it is so hard to make money as a female in a Muslim country I just don't know what to do. He has told everyone that he has fucked his sister (his friends online) and it becomes very hard to bare I wish it had never happened. I hope everyday that I was never born. Terrible people exist and they do terrible things to young people.
Thank you for reading my rant I'm very happy you're here.
Ignore this because i have nothing helpful to say sorry
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Incoherent angry thoughts
I hope your brother goes to hell, or whatever version of hell your religion has. I'm sure he's already reserved a place in hell while he's still alive.
I've never understood why somebody......
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Ignore this because i have nothing helpful to say sorry
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I hope your brother goes to hell, or whatever version of hell your religion has. I'm sure he's already reserved a place in hell while he's still alive.
I've never understood why somebody would fall in love with their sister, cousin, or anyone else in their family. ( IT's NOT LOVE he's an abuser, your brother doesn't love you and that's why he did it.)
Don't give up make yourself stronger to live alone, don't let him brainwash you into staying with him so he can continue to manipulate you, I've heard a similar story about you and it left her traumatized for life, but she is now an independent woman, has a job, and doesn't rely on anyone, you can do it.
Are you in school? but yeah.. I guess school won't be much of a help because of your religion?
You're brave for living. I would have ended my life the instant I realized it, and I know I'm not strong enough to withstand any type of sexual assault, so every time I read/hear stories like this, I'm grateful for my family. I love my mother for leaving my father. Before anything bad happened.
I know that as someone who has not experienced sexual abuse, I may not understand what I'm talking about, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (it might seem cliche but it's true), work hard and do your hardest to live alone and leave that brother of yours, it will never be too late.
23 11,2023
