first and last crush lol.

so when I was in high school I had the biggest crush on this girl. she was in a different class but we were both first years.
a lot of people from my friend group used to make fun of her behind her back because she had this mohawk type hairstyle (it was just long with shaved sides).
but in my head it was the coolest fucking thing (but ofc I didnt tell anyone because I was scared lol), she used to wear oversized black hoodies and tie her hair in a little bun when it was too hot.
I liked her so much all throughout high school (which was 4 years). it was my first time ever having a huge crush on someone like this, I used to write full pages about her, how she made me feel, or what I saw her do that day.
but, me being the socially anxious dumbass, never confessed. I was too afraid to even talk to her like a normal human. so I just suppressed all my feelings and tried to forget about being anything more than a random person in school.
After that, I never really crushed on anyone else and I'm in my second year of college now lol.
So I think I broke that part of my brain and now I'm unable to like anyone else again lmao.