umm so i messed up

okay so like a majority of you out there i like to read yaoi, and more specifically smut, for the romance. like yes it’s hot but at core i’m not really getting horny reading it, more like i enjoy the sex in a mostly platonic way. i’m not sure if that makes sense, but the main take away is this — as much as i enjoy yaoi and smutty scene, im doing so in a way that doesn’t make me aroused.

until one day i made the mistake of getting myself off to yaoi.... and screwed up. it wasn’t like a romance story or anything, it was hentai that i somehow stumbled upon and got me all hot and bothered. but now when i read yaoi it makes me feel weird like i’m still not really horny and i’m still interested in the romance but i do feel like a slight bit of arousal and i hate it bc i just want to go back to aesthetically liking the smut.

help???