too stressed, can't sleep
So i'm one month in for my internship. Basically I'm still shit at the job and keep making small dumb mistakes which ofc I get told off in a nice way. I'm desperately trynna get good as fast as possible but I keep messing up. Not to mention almost all of my colleagues are way older than me and the one's that are somewhat closer to me in age, I don't see them often. It kinda makes it hard for me to befriend or even build rapport with them. Since it's essential for my grades and my mental health.
Pretty sure they don't find me reliable or maybe even like me which is totally understandable. Don't get me wrong they are all still really sweet and nice but I'm not the most talkative or the extroverted kind of person. And there's only so much material I can use to talk to them about during lunch. The main ones I've got gg is the daily news. Overall I'm just stressed about work even when I'm not at work.. I even got hives bcuz of it :(
sorry this is just a rant since I can't sleep bcuz of it.
Messages
Aww I'm glad I woke up to this, thank you so much ! you're so sweet <3
Seems like youre under a lot of stress sir/ma'am, i cant relate to your experiences at all because im still a first year med student but i understand the struggle of being under a lot of pressure even when nobody is directly doing it. I think you shouldnt put such high expectations on yourself, if youre trying your best then you've already put as much effort as you needed to. If you really think your work is subpar then set a small goal and slowly work towards it, nothing comes right away and trying to rush building a house will make it fall apart. People with low self esteem will be highly critical of themselves and believe that what they think is peoples perceptions of them. Im sure they dont scrutinise you in their heads, youre young and older people are experienced enough to know that they were probably in your position. The anxiety you have seems pretty bad if its even causing your body to become irritated, you should speak to a professional who can accurately assess your problems and give you a way to support yourself mentally. Im rooting for you