My first hookup; a long story about the shortest hoe-phase ever

I’ve done the do with a few people, but none of my experiences were super great. In one relationship I had no sex drive because I was depression, while in another the sex was made not that great by the fact that I was in an abusive relationship that could rival a shitty yaoi.

Anyways,
while I don’t have a story about great sex,
I’ve got a great story about bad sex.


MY FIRST HOOKUP:

OKAY SO, exposition: I was sad and lonely during my first semester in college and had been rejected the week before by my crush, so I decided that now was the time to enter my hoe phase and just start doing hookups. When I asked one of my friends for advice they were like “you’re too much of a softie to have a hoe phase bro.” And so then of course I was like “fuck you dude im a bad bitch now”

About a week after that conversation, my friends had gone to a party but I had stuck around in the dorms cuz I’m a homebody that prefers quiet and comfort most of the time. But, after a few hours I was starting to regret not tagging along and wasting the Friday night so I decided to message back a dude that had been inquiring about my bondage kink on tinder. I swiped the guy, because one of his profile pictures was him in a banana suit, and it gave me the impression that he might be an adorable, and unintimidating guy who was not afraid to be a little silly. These are good qualities for a dom to have if you’re gonna have hookup kinky sex, cuz what you don’t want is a gross guy whos not actually into BDSM and just wants to power trip rather than having a safe, consensual, mutually enjoyable kinky experience. Usually it’s the guys that take shit to seriously that turn out to be the gross ones, so chill goofy dudes r a better bet.

So anyways I messaged him and he was down so we moved our conversation to Snapchat. It turned out that he was drunk, at a party, and in the banana suit for some reason that night, and I was instantly second guessing my choice. I was about to call it off when he said he wasn’t that drunk and he was already leaving the party. I decided fuck it and told him to shower, change, and sober up and I’d meet him at his dorm in an hour. I told two friends in my dorm where I was going and that if I didn’t text back by 2am I was probably murdered.

When I arrived he went out to greet me in a night robe and walked me up to his room. There were a bunch of dudes in the dorm hallway boring out and giving him kudos, and I was instantly uncomfortable. But he didn’t bro back at them so I decided he wasn’t gross. But then his dorm room was messy and I was back to being uncomfortable. But we started talking and found mutual ground on comics and quirks and being fellow nicotine addicts, and I decided to go for it.
He was more hygienic than most dudes and gave big warm hugs which was nice. I even gave my first blowjob cuz he had shaved down there so it wasn’t hairy and gross. Still I wasn’t happy with the sex, cuz he Didn’t actually have experience being a dom or doing bondage, and thought we could just tie me up with something in the dorm room (you SHOULD NOT try to do bondage play without items designed for bondage if you are not an experienced rigger. it is DANGEROUS. Improperly done restraints can cut off circulation and do serious damage to the body. People have lost hands and feet due to shitty impromptu bondage. Do ur homework before divinv into BDSM ppl (╯°Д °)╯ ) Anyways, in addition to being mislead about the rope play, my queer self was getting less and less into dick by the minute and I eventually cut the hookup short before he could stick it in.

While the whole experience was just a little weirdly uncomfortable, the WORST PART WAS AFTER. I had ended the sex and had decided in my head that I was not looking for dude at the moment, and also not into this dude in particular. But then, oh man, he asked really genuinely and sweetly if I could stay and cuddle. We talked and talked some more and we wound up having a lot in common. Worse, he turned out to be a genuinely nice and funny dude who seemed loyal and was trying his hardest to make me laugh. he was all like “I really like u, you’re so nice and funny, you’ve got such an adorable giggle, do you want to get breakfast tomorrow? Do you want to meet up again? Could we like start seeing each other?” And I was over here thinking “oh man I’m super lonely right now and he seems like a great goofy teddy bear like friend which is exactly what I need right now... but I’m super not attracted to him.” Starting a friendship with a person you met in a hookup and who wants to date you is... unfeasable, uncomfortable, and probably cruel cuz it would be like leading them on.

So I laid awake next to him for like 4 hours before giving up on sleeping. Then I was like bro I can’t sleep I’m going back to the dorms, and he was all nooo don’t go, and I was like i gotta go bro I have things to do tomorrow and I need my sleep but I’ll meet u at 11 for that breakfast, and then he was like okay