vent (TW)

so school starts in 6 days
ive had these 2 friends who ive loved so much to the point i would do anything for them, but one of those friends is my childhood bestfriend who i loved more because we have more in common like we both read bl, know alot about social media drama and we both have cats lets call her F and lets call the other friend M. until in may (which has always been a bad luck month for me) F and M who usually only hang out with each other because of me and they didnt talk much with each other (for context, M is loud and obnoxious and F is the total opposite)
started to hang out alot together. at first i was of course fine with this infact i was happy they were getting along.
but slowly they left me out. like they only spoke to me when they needed something. and i was like "oh maybe i should just hang out with them!" until during outdoor break when i tried to walk with them they just walked faster and held hands (not in a lesbian way M was insanely homophobic because of religious reasons i respected thay ofc) everytime i tried to talk to them they would just shut me up and yell at me. they would ALWAYS leave me out, everytime i got home and checked our GC m and f would alway message each other things like "yay! im finally home i can call F" i felt so left out they would always sit with each other in class and i was 2 monthes clean from SH so i kinda started SH again then one day they had a talk with me, they said: "hey (my name) we need to talk, so we realised you are acting childish and stuff and for today we dont want to hang out with you because we think you need some time alone" of course thats just the summary version of it i ended up crying alot and they said "we will call you at the end of the day!" which they didnt, and i messaged them on the weekend asking if they want me to bring their favourite snacks, and they left me on read. monday rolled around and they ignored me (it was the last week of school AKA assignment week) Tuesday came and they asked me to apologize. and then we couldnt continue cuz we had to go inside, then on wednesday night, F messaged me she told me to apologize or we arent friends anymore so which i did (it was an actual sincere apology) she told me it wasnt good enough and we wont be friends anymore which i begged her not to, she told me to not to cry which i obviously did. Thursday rolled around (was in my mentally worst state ever) one of their friends was crying which was obviously none of my business then at the end of the day they told me they wanted to talk to me then they asked ME to apologise to their friend. which i didnt of course, they yelled at me i just walked out on them. (one month later on june 28th M messaged MY MOM and started harassing her)
honestly i absolutely hate this year i miss F if i could do anything i would go to the past. school starts in 6 days, i have no friends, F changed schools and M was supposed to change schools but she couldnt. i might get bullied i dont know anymore.