time flies by so fucking quick

Being back in my home country made me realize I hate living in the states. My family is complete here, I have made so many new friends here, I feel less anxious, less angry with myself, and I can breathe. In my mind, everyday is a good day as long as I'm here. I feel whole for the first time in my life. I don't want to go back. Going back feels like I'm being shoved back into quicksand after being given freedom, a breath of air; and just as I start to lose hope that I be rescued from it, I'll be saved from that hell. And I hate that I'm going to repeat that process over and over again for the rest of my life. I wish I could just stay here forever, but I can't.