Most hurtful thing ever said to u?

"She died because of you"
I met one of my closest friends to use their bathroom real quick. I was near their house and I badly needed to pee. The next morning, she was found hanging. I was the last to meet her.

People thought I did something. All I did was use their bathroom.

When I met her, I had the sudden urge to tell her that I liked her romantically. But I didn't fucking say it. She was bisexual, and I was bi-curious. (I'm a girl too) I had no experience in love. I liked her, she was smart and pretty. We had so much in common, we can talk about anything. She actually recommended Mangago to me. That's when I got addicted to Yaoi.
But why?? Why the fuck was I the last person to meet her? GOD GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO MEET HER ONE LAST TIME AND I DIDN'T CONFESS. Fate really played me. I really wonder WHYYY I!!! had to be the last person to see her.. was there a reason to it? Was there a purpose? My goddamn bladder made me meet her, I could've done something different maybe i should've asked how she was.

If I confessed, would she have not killed herself? That's what I once thought. But isn't that so vain? What, you think confessing that you love her would suddenly make her change her mind not kill herself?

I'm not guilty. I don't feel an inch of guilt. I have clean conscience because all I did was fucking use their bathroom. GOddamit and I truly believe she knows that too. That I didn't do anything to cost someone's life. I never bullied her, I liked and admired her so much. But I always wonder if God gave me a reason to meet her.

I wish I could go back to atleast tell her how I feel.
It's her choice, and someone like me can't change it just like that.
So I accept her decision of leaving. I wish she's happy with her choice.