I am FUCKING tired
I have online classes from 9am to 3pm (sometimes even 4) and my mom has forced me to go to tutions everyday (including sundays) even though i told her didn't want to.
I only get an hour and a half break and all other times I'm supposed to study
I cant do anything without asking my mom
she goes through all of my chats with my friends and uses them against me
she says things like "I'll tell this to your friends" or "I'll humiliate you in front of your teachers" whenever an argument doesn't go her way.
she even threatens to take away my break time
and to her, EVERYTHINGS MY FAULT
OH, your (small) sister doesn't cleans her dishes? its your fault
OH, she got addicted to electronics? its your fault
OH, SHE ALMOST SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE? your fault (I'm not joking)
She body shames me then says she never said it
She goes through my diary and said it was because "my sister showed it to her" and THEN proceeds to use it against me in an argument
CONSTANTLY compares me to others and makes me feel bad about myself
Now I have so much anxiety and stress when I'm with her
The most peaceful I was, was when she ignores me after a fight.
I lost the count of the amount of times I had burnouts because of her
I just wanna breakdown and cry and when I do, she mocks me
Once, after an very bad argument my grandma asked my mom to check on me and she legit shouted "why? afraid she's dead?"
she always exaggerates the mistake I have done and continues to remind me about embarrassing memories even when I don't want to remember them.
She gaslights EVERYTHING
one time she talked trash about me in front of my teacher on a call and when I confronted about it just MINUTES LATER, she said she never said anything like that.
I don't know what to do, I cant even run away cause I don't have anywhere to go..